"Upward spirals; not circles."

For the first time ever, I found myself crying in yoga class. Albeit discreetly, I sobbed and kept reaching for my towel at the beginning of the class (thankfully, as we were all on our backs with our eyes closed) to wipe away the tears.

It started when our teacher pointed out that it was the last day we would have the class on the second floor, where, for many years, all the sessions had been held. The new studios would now occupy the third and fourth floors of the same building. Seemingly not a big deal, I know. But last days of anything seem to bring about a sense of melancholy: last day of school, last day of work, last day of a relationship. So it wasn't that big of a surprise to me that when she started to get teary-eyed, I perfectly understood her sentimentality—which then prompted my own sob session.

What really got the tears flowing was when she said the following (and I paraphrase):

"It is when when we move around in circles and find ourselves in the same spot that we ask ourselves, 'Why am I here again? Why is it that I never learn?' When in fact, we're actually moving in an upward spiral, not in circles; that when we end up in the same spot, we've actually gone one level up."

Facebook Status

"I welcome God and the universe's way of letting me move forward, and I [happily and willingly] place myself in a position of excitement for life's next adventure."

A Beauty Lesson

There's more science in the beauty and cosmetics industry than meets the eye.
At the Pond's Institute in Trumbull, Connecticut back in 2006.

I never thought I would become a beauty editor. Not once did it even occur to me that I would be working as one. True, at 18, I told myself I wanted to be an "editor" by age 24. But, at the time, I actually had no idea how to go about it and what kind, actually. (I did manage become an editor at 24, but that's the subject of another blog post.)

So what happened? I started as an intern at Seventeen Magazine back in 2000 when it launched its first international edition. Shortly before graduating, I was hired as an editorial assistant—not an unusual career trajectory for people who intern at magazines. The "beauty" part came in about two years after being hired for the position. I was getting fidgety, watching my contemporaries rise up to fashion, features, and managing editor positions, while I remained a work-all-sections EA, which quite frankly, was actually fun because I got to do everything. But, I probably had that particular career timeline at the back of my mind—or not; I was simply feeling envious of my colleagues. I brought this up to Maya, my first boss (see previous post) who earnestly told me and I will never forget this:

"Mariel, don't compare yourself to others."

I actually forgot exactly what she said after that, but the gist was that I shouldn't indeed be comparing myself with the other EAs who have already "moved forward" because 1) Seventeen was a different magazine, and 2) The position I wanted for myself—lifestyle and fitness assistant/editor—didn't exist in our magazine's masthead at the time.

But more importantly, Maya wanted me to make a decision. To paraphrase, "I don't know where to place you, what do you want to do? You can choose between beauty or features." At the time, Maddy, the fashion and beauty editor was getting ready leave for New York and the position was going to be shared by a fashion editor and a beauty editor who were yet to be hired.

Lille, the features editor (who remains a very very good friend, like most of the Seventeen girls), nudged, "Why don't you do beauty? You just got a car and you can drive to do pull-outs?" It was a simple as that: I could now physically go to the stores and borrow merchandise to write about.

So, that essentially was how I got my start in beauty. And then I walked the walk, talked the talk, worked the work. As the years went by, I no longer had to pull from stores because products simply arrived at my desk, beautifully packaged and brimming with all the science I've come to love to digest.

Parental Guidance

Don't we all love success stories? Steve Jobs, Oprah, Reginald F. Lewis...who else can you think of who had gone past early adversities and turned their lives around to yield magnanimous and amazing results?

I only have to look into the stories of my own parents to be inspired: My mother moved to the U.S. when she was 33 with NOTHING. Sure, she had a bit of money left earned from back home, but that was it. I am guessing it was probably only enough to last her a couple of weeks. No trust fund, no credit card, no working papers. Yet, she made it work. She's written her success story on her own terms, and she simply had an attitude and work ethic that wouldn't quit—seven-day workweeks, multiple jobs, even odd jobs. Fast-forward 17 years, she's fit, fabulous, and doing well, in career and in life. True, she's not the mega-millionaire I'm sure she'd be happy to be, but she's in a good place. (Plus, she's running her first 5k race this weekend!)

My father, on the other hand, lost everything he had—the bookstores he'd worked hard to put up in our hometown—to the calamity that was the Mt. Pinatubo eruption of '91. He and my mother had to start out from scratch by adding to my grandparents' mini-grocery business at the market. They would wake up at 3am to open shop, barely having gotten enough sleep from their bedtime of 12 midnight or so. Eventually, when Mama moved to the U.S. to seek greener pastures (and I guess to escape the grueling market schedule and stress surrounding the events succeeding Pinatubo), my dad moved to Manila to, again, restart a new career as a newspaper reporter. He practically worked as a volunteer, until management took note of his talent and dedication (he literally LIVED in the office in a small room with a bunk bed he shared with other reporters) and he zoomed past the tiers of the masthead and reached a high position that paid him well and gave him quarterly bonuses. Now, Papa is retired and has a thriving eBay business selling rare stamps to an international clientele. Again, he's not the mega-millionaire I'm sure he'd be happy to be, but he's in a good place.

The two experiences above perhaps explain and provide a better understanding on why I literally get stressed out and bothered when faced with a situation wherein a person who has the brains, background, talent, and skills to move forward and succeed gives up prematurely and concedes defeat so early on—without putting up a fight, logging in the hours, exhausting one's all. It's a challenge for me to bear witness to these moments knowing that life is full of stories of individuals who simply made it work amidst hurdles and challenges that, at first glance, were seemingly impossible to conquer.

On Affirmations

In the movie, Sunshine Cleaning, actress Amy Adams looks at the bright (and clean) side.

I've come across the concept of saying affirmations over the years, but haven't really consistently enacted the habit in my life. I also noticed how in movies, people who do them are portrayed in a cooky kind of way (e.g. Amy Adams in Sunshine Cleaning) and are in situations that don't necessarily immediately reflect the words they repeat to themselves.

However, every now and then, I write notes to myself and tack them on the wall, but they're usually goal and career-related, hardly ever, "I'm a rockstar, I'm gorgeous!" The most vivid that I do remember and one (or two) that had quite an impact in my work life was one I'd written back in 2002 and put up on the wall near my bed. It listed the following words:

editorial assistant
lifestyle and fitness assistant
beauty and fitness editor

In between the lines were arrows that mimicked a flow chart of sorts. This note reflected the trajectory I wanted my career to go. I had a goal of being an editor at 24—which was two or three years from the time I'd posted the note.

Another one on the wall read (from what I can remember):
"I am a good and talented makeup artist."

This resulted from an early experience as a freelance makeup artist when I'd encountered doubts about my talent; an incident wherein a starlet-then-model completely mocked the bright lime green eyeshadow I put on her. The green was actually the makeup theme given by the director of the fashion show and I was simply following directions, and picking up from a beauty forecast I'd read in Elle that time (that green was going to be the big thing that year/season in eyeshadow).

Anyway, suffice it to say that I've enjoyed a fun, engaging, and exciting beauty career on both counts as an editor and makeup artist. The makeup part has been on the backburner for quite some time now, but recent events and opportunities have again piqued my interest. So let's see how that goes.

The point of this post being, I wanted to share with you an affirmation I'd actually verbalized the other night, part of a string of messages that also included the "I'm fabulous" kind which I shall keep to myself:

"I will not put up with bad behavior."

It's so simple, straightforward, and encompassing. It's applicable to work, friendships, and relationships. And from there stems all the other facets of affirmations such as feeling confident, having clarity and conviction, and so forth.


Image courtesy of Indiewire.com.