Yoga Journey

One weekend at Sonic Yoga. This space feels like home.
(Image courtesy of Lisa Diebold Smith)

When I started the 200-hour teacher training at Sonic Yoga three months ago, here in New York City, I honestly had no desire or intention to teach. I simply was after the discipline and structure that would result from having a schedule to follow for the duration of the training: alternating full weekends from nine a.m. to six p.m.; weekly Monday night conference calls; and weekly Thursday evening classes. As the training unfolded, I would find out that I also had to complete "non-contact" hours on my own, which included practice teaching, papers, observations, and more.

I felt lethargic that first weekend, although I did take plenty of notes. Fast-forward to today, three months after, my classmates and I have just completed our written and practical exams, and spent one fantastic, heartwarming, and fabulous final weekend together! Just a few more assignments and classes away, I can request for my certificate of completion and apply for the 200-hr RYT at Yoga Alliance. I can't wait! (RYT stands for "registered yoga teacher"; and yes, I've just Googled that!)

My light bulb moment? Midway through the training, it clicked: I wanted to teach yoga. It could have been the educational anatomy weekend, learning about Ayurveda, the peace, love, joy, and camaraderie among my co-teachers-in-training, the humor and talent of our teachers, or the accessibility and heart-centeredness of this 5,000-year-old practice... Somewhere along the way, my desire to teach manifested itself, so that's where I am now.

It's an ongoing journey, I've come to learn. Many of us will continue to study and be part of the community: There's the Mentorship Program, 300-hour training, working as a Karmi at the studio... or even as simple—yet profound—as creating a steady and consistent home practice.

Where do I go from here? I will be doing at least one of the above as soon as I finish the rest of my requirements. It truly is an unbelievable journey filled with love for one's self and others. By tapping into the physical aspect of poses, here is a practice that can open up the heart and mind and lead one into a more spiritual, kind, and loving place.

Hooray!

Cybernesting

Ny Minute Now. Now na.

I have no excuse for not blogging. I have the tools, gadgets, even the time. You know the saying, work expands to the amount of time we're given. It's like putting off de-cluttering for months, and when you have guests popping over at the last minute, all the mess is gone in 30 minutes flat. I believe I read this in the book, It's All Too Much, by organization and clutter expert, Peter Walsh. (Blogged about the book here.)

But, if I play the time card and account for my non-blogging, October really was quite a blur of a month. Here were the highlights:

1) I became an American

I know I'll always be Pinay at heart (I did go to the University of the Philippines, where we were reminded that our affordable State tuition was made possible by tax-paying citizens, including farmers and the hardworking working class) and no doubt in my mind and heart that I will always give back to my country in the best of my abilities.

Still a Pinay at heart.

2) My husband became a New Yorker.

Yes, four years in the making. We've finally graduated from the shenanigan of a long-distance relationship that we had subjected ourselves to. And I do not recommend it to anyone.

At one of my favorite, hole-in-the-wall sandwich shops in Soho.

Drinks for two!

3) Work, work...

Well, I've been working at my full-time job since April. And, I always say that whenever my day job entails writing and editing, the blogging is the first to get pushed to the backburner. Add to that my two other (part-time/off-site) jobs that take up a couple of hours every now and then. But then again, I have no excuse: so many of my editor friends do this. Some are even mommies!

At mass last Sunday, the readings, again, offered swak-na-swak [super apt/applicable] insight to whatever issues I had the previous weeks. Whatever drama, neurosis I've inflicted upon myself, I go to mass and leave feeling at peace—like a refreshing, centering salve to whatever dilemma is at hand. (The feeling is close to coming out of yoga class, which, by the way, is a great place to say one's prayers and tune in to God.)

And sharing a meal, yay!

So anyway, the Gospel for that day was the Parable of Talents. We're all given skills and tools to make it through life. I was recently just telling my husband that it's amazing how engineers have figured out a way to run tunnels underwater for subways, and how each person is brought to this earth to do something. My mom always talks about this too. And it's true: some of us are meant to be doctors, scientists, while others write, entertain, cook. It's an amazing mix of talents that inhibit the world. So, automatically, I got to thinking about blogging, how I've become lazy. The parable was a great reminder to get back on it, and not keep coming up with excuses, and to share what I share with the world, both serious and the seemingly mundane.

The priest also mentioned how, as children, we open presents at Christmastime and find ourselves comparing what we received. He said to "mind our own presents/talents" and, picking up from the homily, to truly hone, nurture, and treasure what we've been given.

Are we there yet?

DAY 27

of the 30-Day Blog Challenge, 2011

I'm four posts away from finishing this year's 30-Day Blog Challenge, and it has been a real challenge so far coming up with a single post everyday, what with work, errands, yoga classes, and other things that occupy my time. But, I know completing it is a reward in itself.

I got to thinking about patience, persistence, and waiting:

1) Persistence pays off.

At mass today, the priest said, "God answers the prayers of the persistent." And, he also said this prayer of thanksgiving, "We thank You for all that we already have, and we only ask for more because of our reliance in You." I like the above quotes because, while I know that God already knows exactly what I need and want (chocolate), he also is a great listener. I akin it to a parent lovingly listening to a child narrating a Christmas wish list; a child fixating on a particular toy which, one morning, magically sits under the tree, topped with a gorgeous bow. It's a delightful moment for both giver and receiver. So, when you want something, ask, ask, ask! And then be grateful.


2) Patience is a virtue.

I think about my husband when discussing patience and (high) EQ—qualities that come naturally to him. You'll never see him harrowed by long airport lines or waiting in general (except probably at restaurants). He has the tenacity that comes from diligence, that's why he gets the promotion and lands the best deal when shopping. As for me, I'm pretty good at waiting and long lines too—having been an only child for the most part, boredom has rarely ever been an issue. Compared to my husband though, I am the impatient one. So it's good that we're together.

That said, I also believe that a little impatience thrown into the mix from time to time can be helpful, especially if it helps propel you forward. A nudge here and there, and you can go back to planting seeds and being patient.

3) Good things come to those who wait.

I subscribe to this quote as well but I can't help but think about Ann Boleyn, eep! Fine, not everybody suffers the fate of the beheaded queen—she did get the king after seven years of waiting before he decided to do away with her. Still, going back to #1, it's good to be persistent…and to try to find meaning in waiting.

On Being Grateful

DAY 23

of the 30-Day Blog Challenge, 2011

Finding gratitude in a situation that turns out less stellar than expected is akin to trying to see the good in a nasty person. It's a challenge, but it's something that has to be done. I say it in the imperative, because to do otherwise is contradictory to embracing positivity—a path that I've chosen to take as best as I could in every situation.

Yet, I do have my moments of distress over both mundane and serious issues. This is when being prayerful makes perfect sense, and having access to a great yoga studio pays off. During quiet minutes of breath and reflection, one can find peace and clarity.

I can't publicly say what exactly is troubling me right now, but I know that an attitude of gratitude beats any amount of complaining, any day. Plus, if I give it time, I know it'll all be good.

About Not Worrying

"Can any of you add a day to your life by worrying about it?"

—Matthew 6:24–34

Meet Jagger, the cute, cuddly, chillax cat :)

This is going to be a long and another weighty one, bear with me. (Don't worry though—in the next two posts, I'll be talking about cream puffs and carrot cupcakes!)

A few weeks ago, after the Times Square incident, I went to Sunday mass as always and the readings and homily from that day particularly struck a chord in me, in a way that would change the way I would approach the new month of March and hopefully the rest of my life. It was as if everything read and said were tailor-made to what I was going through. I ended up taking some notes and I'd like to share them here—hoping they would help you as much as they had given me the reassurance when I needed it the most.

In the comments section from the Ikea post, a reader named Ela said, "I wonder where you are getting all the positivity." I got reminded of a paragraph I originally was going to add to the post back in its planning stages, but forgot to include when I wrote it. Anyway, what I wanted to say was, during moments of distress and despair—and, after the tears have been shed—I am usually presented with an opportunity to be grateful and to snap out of the self-pity. For instance, on the subway ride home that night, I saw a child peddling candy for 50 cents each. I've seen him before, he was different from the kids who toted boxes of M&Ms, Welch's Fruits Snacks, and so forth. This kid seemed barely 10 years old, and he just had this large plastic container filled with fun-size candy bars. Everytime I see him, my heart breaks, because to me, children shouldn't even be working AT ALL. Children should be in school, in the playgound, at home playing videogames, or at the park doing sports...NOT hopping from subway car to subway car selling old candy from a plastic box. Moments like these bring me back to reality and remind me that what I’m going through can be quite mundane compared to the plight of other people. And, no—I do not take delight in other people’s hardships and pointing them out is a way to remind myself to stop being selfish (and, yes, dramatic).

Plug into positivity by surrounding yourself with optimistic people, eating well, and going to nice
(and sunny!) spaces. Here, my friend, Kat, whose company (and apartment!) I turn to whenever
I need a think-positive boost.

Another story that somewhat got buried in my blog backlog also parallels the incident above. Here's what I wrote back then:

"Walking to the subway station headed home from Rob and Grace's wedding, I felt melancholic...and lonely. I missed my husband and I had just come from the first wedding since our own back in February. But then two things caught my attention in my sentimental revelry: First, was a man wheeling his vendor cart, who also, by the looks of it, was headed home. And, second, a man quietly putting away melons in boxes at his fruit stand, ready to close for the night. You know how I feel about people who do physical labor (see Train Lesson post). Here I was, by day, sitting in an air-conditioned office midtown, eating my fancy salad and expensive chocolate, sipping free green tea and coffee; complaining about how lonely I was because my husband is far away. What about those people who have families living in other countries? Or those who have no choice... migrant workers who simply can't afford to feel [‘sad’ or ‘lazy’] because their bodies have to do the work? With that, and buying as much fruit as I could hope to consume in the next couple of days, I hopped on the subway with yet again, a renewed respective."

So, back to the notes from the readings, Gospel, and homily I’ve mentioned. (They were from the February 27, Eighth Sunday in Ordinary Time, which you may read here.)

1. God KNOWS.
In the Gospel, Jesus says: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. ... Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all." That was it, an eyeopener for me—God knows I need all these things. This is the same reading that mentions birds: "Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they? Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?"

2. Clocks in the moment.
The priest told the story of the worrying clock (it's also mentioned in the website, Munachi.com). The clock started fixating on the total number of times it had to tick: two ticks to the second, 120 ticks per minute, 7200 ticks per hour, 172,800 ticks per day, 1,209,600 per week for 52 weeks, and a total of 62,899,200 per year. Overwhelmed, the clock went to a psychiatrist who asked, "Clock, what's your trouble?" "Oh, doctor," the clock complained, "I have to tick so much. I have to tick two ticks a second and 120 ticks per minute and 7200 ticks per hour, and ..." "Hold it," the psychiatrist cut in, "How many ticks do you have to tick at a time?" "Oh, I just have to tick one tick at a time," was the reply. "Then let me make a suggestion," replied the doctor. "You go home and try ticking one tick at a time. Don't even think about the next tick until its time. Just tick one tick at a time. Can you do that?" "Of course, I can" said the clock now happy and revived.

This is another reminder for us to live in the moment, and be in the NOW.

"Success and failure aren't for you to determine—just do what you have to do in the present and you will succeed," said the priest. (I now wish I knew his name!)

3. Worrying vs. Humiliation
"Worrying won't heal or cancel the humiliation or hurt you'd experienced in the past," he said. Wallowing in self-pity and past failures won't propel you forward—it only prevents you from finding and doing constructive things that lead to newer, happier, and successful results and feelings.

4. The Job Interview
This one hit the nail on the head in particular because I struggle, and I do mean STRUGGLE, with interviews (I don't mind it though if I'm the one asking questions). Face-to-face job interviews are partly the reason why I make my work so available online. I find it easier to let the work speak for itself, versus having to "sell" it to a potential employer in person. Then, I end up either going on deer-caught-in-headlights mode or putting my foot in my mouth. It's such a delicate dance that I am working towards mastering.

Stressed? Find a friendly, furry feline.

Anyway, it also came as a surprise to me that this career-oriented subject was even mentioned at mass, that's why I noted earlier that this particular one felt tailor-made. The priest pointed out that thoughts of "Am i going to fail, am I going to succeed?" bring on anxiety and negativity that you end up not being able to present yourself in the best light and in the most natural way.

5. Really, Don't Worry!
Again, I quote from the Gospel: "So do not worry and say, 'What are we to eat?' or 'What are we to drink?' or 'What are we to wear?'... Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself."

Jumping In

Marriage truly was a leap of faith for me. Like I've said in this post, I come from a family of many separations, with weddings having been few and far between. And, growing up in an enviroment where there had been no shame in this issue, I've been privvy to all sorts of marital upheavals. I won't go into detail—because a blog is still different from open dinner table talk—but let me just say that if anybody gets knocked up among the grandchildren, my Lola would simply laugh and brush this off, because that's peanuts compared to all the drama she'd been through in the past. (By the way, if you're pregnant and perhaps looking for new additions to your wardrobe, check out the UK-based Vertbaudet website for maternity wear.)

My husband and I have just celebrated our first year anniversary, and, the biggest challenge so far has been the distance. But, it helps immensely that we really, really like each other and enjoy each other's company that we somehow are able to live each day as if the other were just there. We send random and frequent text messages such as what we've eaten, where we're headed, having woken up from naps, and so forth. It's the little things that propel the day forward—minute to minute, hour for hour, moment by moment. While I do get lonely from time to time—because nothing still beats being in the same room/car as the person you love and sharing cayenne fries—being together "for better or for worse" has made the journey a lot more bearable...and meaningful.

And, back on the subject of faith, I take comfort in seeking God's help (it's unbelievable what I pick up at Sunday mass; more on that in an upcoming post) and knowing that things ultimately have a way of panning out in the most delightful way. Again, one simply has to have faith.

A Bittersweet Holiday

One of the main reasons why I couldn't bring myself to blog over the holidays was because Jayden—my mother's neighbor's Golden Retriever—got hit by a truck the day before Christmas.

Now, Jayden was like our dog. John, the neighbor, happily shared him with us. We would bring him treats all the time and he would even wait outside Mom's kitchen door, anticipating another goodie.

The day before Christmas, we were all getting in the car when I noticed John and a friend carrying something heavy in a blanket. It first occurred to me how it looked like a dead body but I quickly brushed it off because why would someone do such a thing in broad daylight. I did point it out to Mom, who said the same thing I was thinking. As we were driving up the back alley to take out the trash, there we saw John and his friend, crouched in the backyard, crying over the blanket.

It was Jayden.

It was a big pick-up truck, and it happened really fast.

I never ever bawled and cried that much or that long in my life. We threw ourselves to the ground next to Jayden's body. It was surreal. He felt warm in the cold weather, but he lay flat, lifeless.

Sunnier, warmer times with Jayden.

The death of a beloved pet has a raw and gritty quality to it. Unlike humans wherein we are able to—albeit momentarily—mask, delay, and manage the pain via elaborate ceremonies before we bury our dead (that, alongside an unwavering faith in the afterlife), with pets, you face death right in the eye. (Do dogs go to heaven? It makes one ask these questions and want to believe even more in life after death). As in the case of Jayden, we sat next to him in the yard for more than an hour, bawling our eyes out; got inside the house; waited for John to gather more friends to help dig a hole; and when they were done, we went outside again to gather around as Jayden was laid to the ground. It was surreal, and it happened really fast.

True, over the last few days and weeks, new experiences have emerged, new memories have been formed—but I will always vividly remember that day.

Sweet Silver Bells

10 months later and I'm still talking about the wedding. I can't help it: I never thought I would be married. I was never one of those who grew up planning their wedding day. In my own family, weddings have been few and far between, and in the last 20+ years, I have only gone to three weddings of relatives. That's a very conservative number considering my grandmother has eight living children and more than a dozen grandchildren. Most members of my family have chosen to elope or get wed without the whole shebang of a ceremony and guest list, and a handful of them are on their second or third marriages/life-partnerships.

My own parents got married when I was eight, they were too busy making a living to actually put together a party. So if I'm not mistaken, their "wedding" came in the form of Mama handing Papa the court papers in the bedroom for Papa to sign, and then Papa adopting me so I could take on his last name. They separated after about 20 years together and they're both happily partnered off to their respective new better halves. Again, no bells, no hooplah, and the two of them are still friends.

So how did I end up having this lavish(?) out-of-town shenanigan complete with gowns, bridesmaids, catering, and everything? It just happened. And, the nice thing about not having expectations is the chance to be radically surprised.

Hope

Earlier at mass, the priest talked about the emotion of hope—the kind that lets you and I say, "I hope I get that job," or "I hope I pass that class." That versus the virtue of hope, centered on the will; the kind that gets marathon runners to cross the finish line.

He told the story of the 350 people who heard mass three weeks ago on Halloween weekend, the Sunday of which was the feast of All Saints. What was striking, according to the priest, that this wasn't even an official holy day. Yet, these people heard mass in the only Catholic church... IN BAGHDAD.

Needless to say, armed men came in and killed more than 50 of them, including the three priests who celebrated the mass. More than 80 were wounded, and from Vatican came the Pope's plea to fly them via cargo plane to Rome to get these people proper medical care.

The following week, more than 600 people went back to hear mass.

Chidingly, the priest said (I paraphrase), "I don't know about you, but if I were in Baghdad, I wouldn't want to hear mass, or say mass. Clearly, the story above is a manifestation of the virtue hope."

It's this kind of hope that lets us live for something bigger than ourselves; that which gives us strength and perseverance to make it to our own finish lines.

Goodbye, mark.

I love how this picture "speaks" so many things.

When I got laid off from my job as a copywriter last week, I didn't feel as distraught as I'd had in the past when I'd experienced the loss of a job. For one, this was an honest-to-goodness, budget-related layoff—no boo-boos, no office drama...at least that's what I'd like to believe and what I've been reassured of.

In the 12 weeks/3 months I was working for Avon, I've come up with memorable taglines, emails, and collateral copy for the trend brand that is mark. I've met beautiful and amazing people in the course of my time there—so no regrets, more or less. I only wish I'd had more moments to grow and blossom within that environment, but I believe that the time one is given in a place, is the time one has in that place, like I've said in this post.

And, unlike in the past wherein it took me months, or even more than a year to pen my thoughts, this time I'm speaking out while it's fresh. It was such a very pleasant conversation that I'd had with my boss, that I now have fond memories of the office and of mark. Plus, I still have the eBoutique I'd put up for research, so maybe now I could actually market it; or at least finally shop for items online.

The photo above was taken over the weekend at a friend's birthday party. I love it because it speaks a thousand words: the mark. outfit and lipstick; the genuine smile and excitement that comes with the anticipation of dessert; the way my stacked rings were captured in the photograph; the delicious banoffee pie a friend of mine made (a recipe that a former colleague shared), and more. And just like how newlyweds cut the cake as a symbol of their new life together—or, as I've learned from an elderly, soft-spoken painter I'd met at the party, how stomping on a wine glass in Jewish weddings signifies "getting the first disaster out of the way"—I welcome this change with the same sheer anticipation of all great things to come.

With friends Kat and Happy at the latter's birthday breakfast where I got to borrow one of these gorgeous Alexis Bittar necklaces on my last day at mark. (the two actually had no clue that it was).

Facebook Status

"I welcome God and the universe's way of letting me move forward, and I [happily and willingly] place myself in a position of excitement for life's next adventure."

My Own (Legal) Advice

This was so much fun to watch! And remember the early 90's movie, Green Card, starring Andie MacDowell and Gérard Depardieu?

Earlier this afternoon the paralegal from the lawyer's office called, asking for my birth certificate. I'm in the process of renewing my green card, which expires every 10 years (only the card itself expires, not the permanent resident status, FYI). It's routine paperwork, but with immigration, you never know. Fortunately, I've kept a scan of the document on my computer so I immediately dashed home to get to it and send it over.

Now, remember how I said before that I would never want to live in New York City again, and then eating my words by moving back? (No regrets, by the way) Also, haven't I been heralding more than ever the importance of staying positive? The universe has a sense of humor, I believe. It occurred to me on the way home that I do have to follow my own advice.

And, I'm not having difficulty doing so. I know that whatever time I have and am given to be here, is the perfect amount of time that I have to be here. If it's until next year, it's until next year; if it's another 10 years, then it's another 10 years. It's as simple as that. I've always let God hold the steering wheel of my life. I've kept this quote on my phone that goes, "A man plans his way, but God directs his steps." The note says it's from Proverbs. I must have picked it up from a homily at mass.

Now, funny when I was thinking about the possibility of no longer getting to live here in New York City, or Denver, or in any city in America down the line, my foremost concern was that I now really, really had to make the most out of my trips to Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, Maoz Falafel, Lobster Shack, Tokyo-san Bowl, Serafina, the taco trucks, Halal food stalls...and all the palate-pleasing opportunities this country has to offer!

Image courtesy of http://moviejunkieonline.com.

UPDATE 10/12/10: My new (renewed) green card is here! So, onto this American journey.

Old and New Quotes to Live By

Here's a quote from Lara Parpan, editor-in-chief of Women's Health Philippines:

"Seize the moment. When I run, swim, bike, dance, or even write this blog, it’s a celebration of my body and my mind being intact and functional at this very moment. I cannot ask for more. I am already blessed. I live life fully, right here, right now."

You can read Lara's full blog at Femalenetwork.com, where she wrote a very detailed post about aneurysms ("Why I Dance Like A Madwoman," July 2, 2010), what they are, the best way to spot them, and habits to kick or adopt to help steer clear of them.

Speaking of quotes, I've come across two other meaningful ones from my most recent Long Island weekend:

"Never take no for an answer. Mr. Lewis lost three big deals, but he never lost the game."
—Millenium Membership Awardee Londell Williams at the Reginald F. Lewis Benefit Luncheon held on June 26, 2010.

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
—Teddy Roosevelt, quoted by the priest during homily at Sunday mass.

Posting photos from last weekend's spectacular East Hampton (working) getaway very soon. In the meantime, Happy Fourth of July, everyone!

Photo by John Reyes.

Happy Presents

It's been I while since I bought dressy, strappy sandals. And for this pair I have to thank my dear, dear friend Frances of Topaz Horizon, who gave me gift cheques for VNC (a.k.a. Vincci as made famous in Malaysia) when she wrote about me in her Magnificent Women blog series. I love the huge gems on the shoe; I have a weakness for big sparkly baubles.

Anyway, it already feels like Christmas morning over here. If, like me, you scatter purchased items on the bed and look at them lovingly the minute you get home (and maybe have them next to you all through the night) then you know exactly what I mean.

Laying on my back next to the shopping bags, it dawned on me that this past year has truly been a divine gift from above. About a year ago in New York City, I remember waking up and asking myself: What if I didn't have to work? What if I didn't have to pay rent? Can I ever stop working?

I simply felt tired. And now I know that God heard my exasperated plea. While I didn't know back then that I was probably calling out to the universe for a chance to live life differently, how succeeding events panned out has proven this divine understanding, love, and compassion beyond words—even when I wasn't fully aware of the big picture. While I haven't been exactly idle this past year (I think I'm wired to keep my plate full at all times), I'd experienced a languid lifestyle wherein I was able to zone in on the things I loved to do without the pressures of a rigid schedule, and perhaps most importantly, spend plenty of time with the people that I love. In the process of all of this, I also got the chance to reflect, and then redirect my life in ways I have not imagined possible. And now I can say that I am truly, forever grateful.

Photo: Mariel Chua

Couples Therapy

Ouch. The world never got over what happened between these two in real life.

In the past, I noticed having the uncanny ability to sense that a couple was going to break up.

At a party among college friends, I caught a glimpse of an underlying tension when my friend P's ex, A, casually signaled to her watch that it was time to leave.

At a small get-together at my old apartment, I sensed a particular discontent and yearning for something else with my friend I and her then boyfriend, M.

At a college friend's bridesmaid's fitting, I noticed the same fidgety feeling between a long-time couple I didn't really know very well.

Subtle, yet palpable, is how I would describe each incident.

The first couple would separate for good and move on to marry other people. The second, magically, touchingly, and beautifully reunited, got married, and now have an adorable baby boy. (I eventually apologized to my friend for having voiced out the info above when they were broken up; only to be embarrassed and proven wrong when they got back together and turned out to be right for each other. See, sometimes I really should just shut up.)

As for the third couple, I have no idea if they're still together, like I said, I didn't know them very well.

The point to all of this is that, when it comes to gauging the underlying things in life, a.k.a. my personal gut and instinct, I have a 50/50 accuracy rate, which for some may be disappointing, but to me is a huge relief. I am actually happy to be wrong every now and then, and well, to be wrong half the time.

Because whenever I get neurotic about weddings, proposals (by the way, if you're on the lookout for princess diamonds, round diamonds, or any other loose diamonds, you might want to check out the choices at Samsclub.com), breakups, failed/failing marriages (so common in my family, and not to mention, issues of infidelity), I take comfort in my hit-or-miss ability to judge things for what they are. Sometimes, I'm content to chuck it all to paranoia and move along with a productive sense of positivity.

Image courtesty of Channel4.com

Seven Easy Ways to Stay Slim

No pressure: Find an easy, breezy food and fitness combo that works for you.

Ever since that year I’d uncannily gained 15 extra pounds (it took a year to shed them), I thought I’d completely resolved my body issues and have learned to be happy with what I weighed. Because when I did get fat, only then did I realize I was thin before after all.

Except that from time to time, I still get bothered by superficial concerns like how my belly spills over my jeans, or how my already chubby cheeks have become more pronounced in the last few years.

I understand with women, it’s a constant struggle to accept and appreciate—or even love—what we were born with, all the physiological facets and contours that make each form unique.

I’ve picked up some strategies throughout the years to help combat the body blahs, whether it’s that puson [paunch] that makes you look pregnant, or those stubborn five pounds that seem more noticeable during that time of the month. I’ve learned to turn to them whenever I need a nudge or just overall accept the present and, as much as I would like to look (and weigh) like my 22-year-old self, my priority these days should be to be healthy and enjoy life and its multitude of culinary delights. And if you’re lazy like me, scanning—and following—these tips should be a piece of cake.

1. Start Small

I was a former athlete and I now live a sedentary life. And the thought of exercising just makes me want to be even more sedentary. I bet this is a common dilemma. My solution is to start really small: as in something so miniscule and seemingly irrelevant that it doesn’t put pressure on you to charge full steam ahead in terms of going to the gym and getting on the fitness bandwagon.

The other day I decided to get on a treadmill for exactly five minutes. That's right: five minutes of leisurely walking, no more, no less. I was literally still in my sleepwear and just slipped on my rubber shoes.

It doesn't even have to be a treadmill: you could grab a jump rope, do one push-up here, a crunch there. As the days go by and at your own pace, add little increments to your routine of choice. Before you know it, five minutes on the treadmill becomes seven, and then 10; one crunch and push-up becomes a set of 12. And surprise! You're actually…working out!

But if you’re still not ready to get off the couch just yet, skip to the next step…

2. Make Like The French

I had a Parisian colleague who stayed thin throughout the time I’d worked with her. And no, she didn’t obsess about what she ate or how often she exercised. In fact, she signed up for the company gym but only ended up going once a month. She would eat a croissant for breakfast at her desk daily, and almost everyday, she and I went to the same lunch buffet line in the cafeteria. One time, she even invited me to her apartment to dinner where she made pasta with cream and salad, which we enjoyed with glasses of wine and hunks of bread.

I know genetics plays a big part in how our body morphs (or dismorphs), but what I noticed with the French (at least from this one person I’d befriended) is that they eat in moderation and enjoy exquisite things and aren’t likely to binge on them. They have cheese with every meal, but not slabs of it. They have dessert with lunch, but not the whole cake. Realizing—and then copying—this manner of eating, I noticed that I rarely feel deprived (or worse: guilty) for indulging.

So if you’re craving for ice cream and cake, don’t skimp by going low-fat or diet. Get the real thing and don’t torture yourself into thinking that you’re never ever going to have more of it afterwards. Just feel welcome and entitled to the food you love to eat. You’ll be surprised that this tactic actually makes you eat less.

3. Take It From Chin-Chin

I met the actress, Chin-Chin Gutierrez, at a shoot a few years ago. Both vegetarians at the time (I now eat chicken; I think she’s still vegetarian), we got to talking about food and nutrition. She mentioned a particular sequence of eating and a theory that made sense and to this day I still try to follow: She said to start a meal with something raw, like fresh fruit or a crisp salad. Since these are natural products, our bodies recognize them easily and our stomachs produce enzymes that help digest food and whatever comes next in the meal.

That versus the usual way of eating something hot and cooked, and having fruit for dessert. From what I remember, this is how she explained it: “The hot meal has already been processed so it ‘surprises’ your belly. So by the time you introduce fruit for dessert, the enzymes go into overdrive and that’s when you get gas.”

Again, this is just a theory, but I like the idea of prepping your belly to digest food more efficiently (and well, yes, have less gas in the process).

4. A Little Green Tea (Goes A Long Way)

I’ve heard before that Oprah was a staunch believer in the metabolism-boosting benefits of green tea. And I’ve seen people lose weight from taking concentrated green tea supplements. Now, I’m averse to anything in pill form unless it’s Claritin, Tempra, or Vitamin C, so freshly-brewed green tea is fine by me.

I actually started drinking tea not because of Oprah or those people who have lost weight, but rather, I quit going to Starbucks that year I started paying rent. I had to improvise and budget my money strategically, so home- (or office) made green tea it was for me.

Since I also happen to love dessert, I try to make it a point to wash it all down with tea—hot or cold, with little or no sugar especially when I’m already eating something sweet. I go as far as carry my own packets for when I’m being a cheapskate and just order hot water in restaurants.

5. Look Up!

Just like those ballerinas and dancers: It’s all about posture and form. Standing tall gives the illusion of a leaner, longer body. So if you find yourself staring at your belly, that means you’re not holding your head up high and you’re most likely slouching. Remember: It’s also about confidence. And the neatest part about confidence is that you can "fake it ’til you make it."

6. The Abs Diet

Some people have found fitness success in the South Beach Diet, or even Atkins. Personally, these programs have failed for me for the sole reason that they require one to give up sugar (and carbohydrates) for the first two weeks.

Now, I live and breathe sugar. Not a day goes by when I don't have a piece of chocolate or anything sweet. During previous Lenten Seasons, I chose to abstain from dessert or chocolate on Fridays, only to find myself waiting for midnight to have a piece of chocolate. I know it defeats the whole purpose of sacrificing and abstaining from something. But you get the drift.

Anyway, what worked for me that year I gained all that weight (that I still try to follow to this day) was the Abs Diet [Rodale] by US Men's Health editor, David Zinczenko. I went straight for the spin-off book, Eat Right Every Time Guide, because it was so small and undaunting. But boy, was it a treasure trove of easy, practical information that has helped keep the weight off, give or take a few pounds.

What I love about the Abs Diet is that it isn't really a ‘diet,’ but more of a lifestyle program that tells you what you have to eat MORE of, not the other way around, as in the case of other eating plans. The core of the program is the ABS DIET POWER 12, which stands for:

Almonds and other nuts
Beans and legumes
Spinach and other green vegetables

Dairy (fat-free or low-fat milk, yogurt, cheese)
Instant oatmeal (unsweetened, unflavored)
Eggs
Turkey and other lean meats

Peanut butter
Olive oil
Whole grain breads and cereals
Extra-protein (whey) powder
Raspberries and other berries

You only read the book once and you're pretty much set. No need to count calories or remember certain carbohydrates that are allowed or not allowed. Just eat often (Zinczenko recommends six times a day) and sensibly from the list above. Easy, right?

The small book also discusses fastfood options for when you’re on the go, plus easy MICROWAVEABLE breakfasts you can take with you to work or for those hectic days when the last thing you want to think about is your diet. After all, diet culprits are triggered by those hunger pangs when you can't think straight that you just reach for the next sugar bomb or grease grenade to quell the hunger…or mindlessly chow down lunch in front of the computer.

Zinczenko also addresses the issue of belly fat in the book (as the title suggests). “[This] is the most dangerous kind of fat. That’s because belly fat often comprises both subcutaneous fat (fat that’s under your skin) and visceral fat (fat that lies beneath your stomach muscles, snug up against your internal organs). It’s this second type, visceral fat, which can cause some long-term harm,” he explains.

“In one report, researchers concluded that visceral fat is the single-best predictor of diabetes.” Other studies also link that extra fat on your midsection as an indicator for high cholesterol and heart problems down the line. “Shedding fat from your frame is essential to living long and healthy,” says Zinczenko. So beware.

Anyway, if that doesn’t get you picking up the Abs Diet, just know that on it, you get to eat ice cream(!) AND lose weight at the same time! Not kidding.

7. Celebrate The Non-negotiables

Now, back to genetics: there are some things you can’t change unless you’re willing to go through the hassle of plastic surgery. In my case, I’ve always had a belly and paunch, even way back in high school when I only weighed as much Nicole Richie. The puson is just in the family.

It has crossed my mind several times to get liposuction (or mesotherapy injections), even on my cheeks or arms. But then again, I know that after lipo, the fat you do accumulate could show up in really odd places—like the armpits. I don’t think I’m ready to hop on that roller coaster. Plus, over the summer I’ve had some lumps on my breasts surgically removed; it wasn’t the most delightful experience and I promised I’d never ever go through surgery for the sake of vanity: It’s just not worth the pain and stress for me.

Besides, understanding your own unique contours and lovely lady parts makes fashion a more enjoyable undertaking full of promising surprises. Can you imagine what fun it is to find the perfect floral dress that accentuates your curves, or that skirt that emphasizes your behind in the most flattering of ways? If you’re considering cosmetic surgery, I suggest splurging on a new wardrobe instead and a night on the town with your best girlfriends. (And don’t forget the cake!)

Disclaimer: Before trying any new diet, eating plan, or exercise regimen, consult with your physician.

Part of this month's Cosmo Series, 15th of 16 posts also published at Cosmo.ph.

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A Reason for Every Setback

Elle Woods' heartbreak merited Harvard success.

If there's one quote I've learned to appreciate and live by, it's this:

"There's a reason for every setback."

I cannot begin to enumerate the number of times I've had "Aha!" moments just by realizing this.

My earliest memory of how this meaningfully—or even magically—worked in my life was 10 years ago. I was 19 and an avid climber at a gym near school. While I didn't exactly train everyday, I was a mainstay and felt quite at-home in there. At the time I'd already joined a handful of competitions, and was at a comfortable place.

Every year, the owner of the gym and staff picked a handful members for the national team training pool. The main perk of being part of this team was that one got to climb for free (monthly fees waived) and of course, get the prestige of being part of the group.

I thought I was a shoo-in for a slot until a friend told me I was overlooked, because I didn't exactly workout there everyday. (In retrospect, there was some truth to that; I spent more time having coffee and eating banana bread by the counter than actually scaling walls.)

Another friend got in. Suffice it to say, I was heartbroken. Being told I didn't make the cut for basically not seeming to want to train was insulting, plus, I could really use the free monthly training. I was on a very meager student budget at the time.

Feeling betrayed, I started avoiding that climbing gym altogether. Instead, I went to the other branch, owned by the same people, but the likelihood of seeing them, and other friends who casted their vote, weren't as likely because this other gym was FAR from the one by my school. I probably had to take two kinds of public transportation to get to that place but it was worth it: I could concentrate on climbing, training, and getting stronger.

And train, climb, and get strong I did. I focused on finishing difficult routes, and just kept climbing and climbing and climbing until my body smarted and my hands were as callused as a carpenter's.

During this time at the other gym, I got to partner and train with my friend and mentor, Marie Calica (former beauty editor of Marie Claire Philippines; visit her blog, The Beauty Coach here ).

I climbed my heart out. With Marie, I finished one of the toughest and highest walls there after weeks of training. Eventually, the same owner who gave me the thumbs down, noticed, and finally included me in that branch's roster for the nationals. For some reason the mechanics were different in that gym (there was no free training), but finally, I was part of Team Xxxxx-xx.

The moral of the story is: Diligence, hard work, and persistence always pay off.

It's just ironic that I had to travel miles to get to a place and earn my climbing merits, far away from the homebase. Strange, but worth it.

But here's why this incident is special and major to me. Fast-forward to succeeding events, months and years down the line:

1. Marie opened up the world of fashion and beauty for me. As in the kind that one can make a living out of. That's why I call her my mentor.

2. Marie's sister, Maya, became my first boss at Seventeen, where I interned for four months and eventually got hired as an editorial assistant.

3. I stayed in the magazine for years and eventually became beauty editor. At 24! And a freelance makeup artist.

(Take note, Marie is also a full-fledged makeup artist. In the beginning, I got weirded out for wanting to pursue the same thing, but what she said truly touched and encouraged me and warmed my heart: "There's lots of room for everybody." To this day I still maintain that same outlook when people approach me for advice.)

4. Five years after that summer, I became beauty editor of Cosmo! I got to travel the world and fully enjoy life as a magazine editor.

So you see, if that whole Team Rejection didn't happen, if I never got so heartbroken as to avoid my friends and flee to a faraway place, I would have never had the opportunity to train with a new climbing partner—whose influence extended beyond scaling walls. If it weren't for Marie, I would have never heard about freelance styling, beauty editing, or fashion sitting.

I have other stories to share in relation to finding reason and light in every setback. It would fill too many pages, but if any of you are going through a tough time, or if any recent development doesn't make sense at all, don't fret. This includes losing a job, breaking up with a boyfriend, or discovering a betrayal: It all leads to something wonderful and amazing that will knock your socks off.

Just wait and see.

Part of this month's Cosmo Series, fourth of 16 posts also published at Cosmo.ph.
(Image Courtesy of http://allmoviephoto.com)

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"Go in peace."

DAY 6 of the Inspiration Series

Big bites, little bites. There's something for everybody in the Big Apple.

The last couple of days have been so busy that I didn't even realize I haven't blogged in 10 days! Yikes! Sorry to keep you all hanging. Now back to regular Inspiration programming :)

I was in New York this week, and have had quite a productive time out there. The trip included a list of tasks and errands to accomplish, and I must say I'm happy with the results.

The first thing that came to mind when I got to Grand Central was…I didn't miss it. Not just yet. Strange, huh? Then I went to Serafina—an old favorite hangout, for the fruity olive oil, blocks of parmesan, crusty-chewy bread, and thin-crust gorgonzola/pesto pizza—and saw two friends. I managed to squeeze in an errand in Harlem, a place I likened to Cubao, for the street vendors, clustered shops, and overall feeling of alertness I've had to harness at a young age while learning to commute around Manila.

More than the errands and brimming to-do list, I discovered certain things about myself and the kind of lifestyle I'm drawn towards:

1. I was happy to go around town on my own, and I still enjoyed the pace people walked and the accessibility of each block.

2. I didn't find the need to fraternize with a large group, instead choosing simple one-on-one catch-up sessions with just a few friends.

3. I enjoyed the familiarity, but knew in my heart it wasn't time to go back. Again, not just yet.

Re: #2, at sporadic points during my trip, I felt a little bit sad after realizing that it's taken me some time to heal from the trauma of some failed friendships I had made over a year ago. If you read this blog regularly, I think you'd be able to piece together bits and parts of the story: from the breast cysts I got from the stress, down to the disbelief of being talked about for the first time in years, since high school.

I caught myself talking about this carelessly, when in fact, it should have already long been a closed book. Upon realizing this, I'd resolved to completely move on and refrain from even broaching the subject.

At mass earlier, it was as if God, through the Gospel reading, was telling me to do the exact same thing:

"Nothing that enters one from the outside can defile that person; but the things that come from within are what defile."

I likened this to the saying, "You can't change certain things or certain people; but you can change your reaction towards the circumstances."

It's true: Whatever hurt I'd experienced in the past, whatever the betrayal, the dishonesty, the misunderstandings…those were all external. And the only thing that can truly heal me, other than prayer, is my reaction and desire to move forward. So that's exactly what I'll will myself to do from this point on. Even if it means limiting the social scope of my future life in the city. So this time, I am truly going for quality. And besides, I'm not one to play the victim, it's so not my theme in life.

During the homily, as if echoing my decision to be more scrutinizing of the friendships I make and keep, the priest talked about the difference between being judgmental and protecting one's self. "If you have to avoid 'Fred' not because you are condemning him but protecting your own salvation, that's not being judgmental," he said. "But if you're focusing on Fred's faults, then the other saying from Christ Himself applies to you: 'Why do you look at the splinter on your friend's eyes, but not the beam in yours?'"

So this time, and like I've always had anyway but have at times succumbed to indulgent gossiping, I'm now all for 'peace that passes understanding.'


The Inspiration Series

DAY 1 - "It smells like God."
DAY 2 - "You're a kind soul."
DAY 3 - "Just wait for it."
DAY 4 - "I have all I need."
DAY 5 - "Take the plunge."
DAY 6 - "Go in peace."
DAY 7 - "Don't stop believing."

"I have all I need."

DAY 4 of the Inspiration Series

"And if I need more, it'll come."

I just wrote that on my notebook and within minutes—or maybe seconds—the song, "All I Need" by Air (from the album, "Moon Safari: A Lunar Adventure") played randomly on iTunes. Doesn't that sound divine, literally? I know God listens and affirms with grace.

I had a full day with family today. I know for many of you reading this blog, it's not unusual to spend Sundays with loved ones, hearing mass, going out to lunch, shopping around town, enjoying a hearty dinner. But to me, this is something I treasure because I'd missed out on this for many years, having lived independently since my early teens and for most of my adult life.

I always joke with my mother that I've done this totally backwards. In the Philippines, most girls live with their parents until they're married. Some get their own apartments after graduation, but the former is the norm. I, on the other hand, am living with my mother for the first time since I was 13! It's as if I'm cashing in on those missed years. But Mom says it's not even an issue: I'm getting married, and I need to save up. And she loves having me around, taking advantage of her marvelous kitchen gadgets. So Thank you, mom.

Anyway, I dormed throughout high school and up to Freshman year college. By then my aunt and uncle said I should be spending college in a family environment (I was an only child at the time), so I lived with them, and my three cousins, for three years. We were quite close, to the point that my youngest cousin, who had been born the following year, thought I was her sister. Eventually, I moved out (and my cousin cried when she found out I was her cousin! Aww...)

Don't get me wrong, dear blog readers: To borrow Liv Tyler's words describing her childhood, "Mine was filled with love." There may have been times when my parents were absent, but everybody pitched in and provided me with a sense of family. Probably quite the non-traditional kind, but family nonetheless. My favorite aunt, Tita Joan, once said, "Family isn't just blood." And it's true.

As for those times my immediate family members were 'absent,' my dad, back then was new at his newspaper job and was busy toiling away at work to the point that he bunked with other reporters/editors in the office living quarters for many years. He didn't get paid much in the beginning, but he was able to send me to college and provide for me financially. Plus share helpful books (see my "Good Morning, America post from last year) and insights along the way.

My mother, on the other hand, was busy trying to get all of us a green card. These days she lives comfortably, but during her early years in the U.S., she took on several jobs to make ends meet. Eventually, after the strain of a five-year long distance relationship, she and my dad split. But I won't elaborate on that in this post (looong story).

Anyway, those three years I'd lived with relatives before moving out were quite critical in my growth as an adult human being:

I learned how to ride a bike at 16.

At 16, Tito Al hired an instructor to teach me how to ride a bike. This was in Baguio, (a northern city in the Philippines) during a family vacation, and they didn't come get me until I was balancing/wobbling on my own. Within weeks, we were rough-riding at the construction site of what is now The Fort. I am not kidding—we were biking around tractors, submerged in dirt, on unpaved/non-existent roads. By Christmas that year, Tito Al and Tita Joan gifted me with a bicycle—one that I took to school, to the climbing gym, around town.

At 17 and 18, I learned to eat Boursin and Havarti, enjoy chewy walnut bread from the Mandarin Hotel, eat chicken baked in paprika, know what a clean kitchen and living room should look like, source seat covers from obscure places, PAINT a gate (not kidding!), clean and oil a bicycle, do long and short runs, make (or destroy) carbonara, and so forth. The works.

By 19, I was on my own, again. But armed and ready to be independent. I didn't go wild, I'd been trained well. I felt like a responsible adult.

In retrospect, I see that no matter how life seemed lacking or incomplete at different points in time, I'd actually been given the building blocks needed for each step of the way and every accomplishment. Sometimes it's just easier to fixate on what's missing, and crave for certain things, but looking at the big picture, it's all in there.

Image courtesy of http://www.tunequest.org/ (album) and http://www.abikestore.com (bicycle).

The Inspiration Series

DAY 1 - "It smells like God."
DAY 2 - "You're a kind soul."
DAY 3 - "Just wait for it."
DAY 4 - "I have all I need."
DAY 5 - "Take the plunge."
DAY 6 - "Go in peace."
DAY 7 - "Don't stop believing."

"Just wait for it."

DAY 3 of the Inspiration Series

Little Amélie spending a leisurely day eating raspberries.

When my dad started blogging a couple of months ago, he took to building posts, sourcing photos, and finding catchy titles in a classic journalistic manner—just like he did during those years he worked as an editor for a newspaper. At one point, we were trying to figure out a domain name (or was it a blog title?) and we were just sitting there in his study and he said:

"Just wait, it'll come. The universe just gives it to you. Just sit and wait."

Now, my dad isn't space-age-y that way, in fact, he can sometimes be painfully objective and straightforward. But there is that side of him that churns out cool and catchy life mantras, many of which have come in handy during tough times at work. Here are some that I'd managed to write down in random pages of my notebook:

1. "Being down makes you flexible and enterprising. View this as a challenge."

2. "There are 14 million people in New York, according to Sex and the City. You'll find at least 10 good bosses in that 14 million."

3. "When a door closes, a window opens—or break a window!"

4. "Plant seeds. They bear fruit at the right and perfect time."

5. "Don't step on people on your way up, so on your way down, they'll catch you instead of kicking you lower."

6. "Enjoy the search. It's about the travel more than the destination. So travel tomorrow."

7. "EBAY." :)

And my favorite so far is:

8. "Don't sit on your garlands."
(a.k.a. "Never rest on your laurels.")

As for "waiting for it," he may be right. I am a true believer in Divine Inspiration and Timing.

With this Inspiration Series, when I was forming it in my head, I'd intended it to be regular, but not daily pieces, unlike the 30-Day Blog Challenge wherein I'd blogged for 30 consecutive days, with one or two scheduled posts within the series. But I find that everyday, a burst of inspiration (sometimes, two) just instantly leads me to start typing away on the keyboard, and I don't have to rack my brain for the perfect words; they just flow. Cool huh?

Well of course, with that, I follow the standard writing/editing mantra of "Create and collate," meaning, write freely, go with the flow of your thoughts, and then edit: Check for form, grammar, readability, and so forth.

Image courtesy of http://intimatevignettes.blogspot.com

The Inspiration Series

DAY 1 - "It smells like God."
DAY 2 - "You're a kind soul."
DAY 3 - "Just wait for it."
DAY 4 - "I have all I need."
DAY 5 - "Take the plunge."
DAY 6 - "Go in peace."
DAY 7 - "Don't stop believing."