Random Realization

As much as I find the idea of working from home quaint, novel, and highly desirable, I now realize that I need a physical office away from home in order to keep my beauty copywriting career at its full and optimal potential. The only things that I find that I'm able to do sufficiently well at home are the following:

- Cook
- Eat
- Write about what I cooked and ate
- Browse the internet (because believe it or not, I rarely leisurely browse when I'm at work)
- Plan a yoga class
- Do yoga
- Write about life and yoga
- Nap and sleep

So, unless I take steps to make some of the above become my full-time occupation—food blogging, yoga teaching, and yoga/life blogging—I shall continue to be part of the daily hustle and bustle of working in New York City, being a copywriter in the fabulous world of beauty.

Now, getting to the office is one thing. I do love and enjoy having an office and being among coworkers (surprisingly, what with my social awkwardness). My ultimate goal/dream/wish as a professional is to be shuttled back and forth via car service. I want to work as hard as Bloomberg, but not have to be in a jam-packed train during rush hour. But then again, the mayor himself takes the subway—and so do CEOs, Julia Stiles, Scarlett Johansson, Jay Z*, et.al.—so touché!

(*Maybe Hova doesn't count, probably had a full security detail in tow, hah!)

Harper’s BAZAAR, we meet again :)

The Moroccanoil print ad I wrote is in the March 2013 issues of Harper's BAZAAR (where I worked in international marketing when I had just moved to NYC), Elle, InStyle and the gigantic Vogue with Beyoncé on the cover!

The universe has a sense of humor—I've always wanted to write for magazines here in the U.S., picking up from where I left off as beauty editor at Hearst international titles Seventeen and Cosmopolitan. I've also contributed to sister publications Good Housekeeping and Marie Claire. So, now, my words are actually in these well-respected magazines, at least in the advertising section.

Now, if only I could make the jump back into the editorial pages, that would be FANTABULOUS! :)

Mariel Jimenez | 30-day Blog Challenge 2013 | Day 28

"Find a job you love, and never take one solely for the money. Do what you love and the money will follow." 

— William The Henry a.k.a. my Papa! :)

 Mariel Jimenez | 30-day Blog Challenge 2013 | Day 11

From Lululemon:

Mariel Jimenez | 30-day Blog Challenge 2013 | Day 7

Inspiration Snippet

At my previous job, I kept a daily "progress list" document—a simple Wordpad file listing received artwork waiting to be proofed, ongoing items, approved, and so forth. At the bottom I kept a quote written by inspirational author and speaker Dr. Wayne Dyer. It read:

SUCCESS IS AN INSIDE JOB. 
Being relaxed, at peace with yourself, confident, emotionally neutral, loose, and free-floating—these are the keys to successful performance in almost everything you do.

This is something nice to keep in mind, especially now that I've moved on to the next phase of my career here in New York—that stage where everything is new once again and there is much to be learned.

Thinking of printing it or putting it on a Post-it as a daily reminder!

Making Time

I want to...

read books
write books
bake
blog
write for magazines
learn the piano
play the guitar
keep house
kickbox
practice yoga

I get eight hours of sleep, eight hours for work...and eight hours to hopefully get to do all of the above, and then some.

I have a recipe in this book! And how I'd love to work on more of these…

(and blog more often!)

On Lazy Days

For as long as I can remember, people in my stream of consciousness have held several occupations at once. When my dad was a bookstore owner, he also dabbled in writing and editing for the local paper (eventually becoming a journalist full-time, and now he's back to being an entrepreneur). During my early years working in the magazine business, all the editors I knew had other things going on besides turning over the monthly issue. Whether it was in the form of writing for sister publications, fashion styling, or makeup artistry, it was the side jobs that paid for cars, trips to Europe, and so forth.

I've pretty much kept the same outlook when it comes to my own work and career: have as much on my plate as possible.

So, suffice it to say, whenever I feel lethargic and all I want to do is stay in bed and watch cooking shows—eating and snacking along the way—I tend to feel guilty. Whenever I skip my to-do list for the evening, it becomes some sort of existential inner debate.

Last night was one of those moments: I had a ton of laundry to do, invoices to work on (for my other job), taxes to file, blogs to write…but all I did was remain in bed, watch TV shows on the desktop, and flip through an unfinished magazine. I simply felt tired—I didn't even feel like making dinner (although I did prep the pastry cream that will go into cream puffs that I have yet to make).

This morning, on the train to work, I read the following in this month's O, The Oprah Magazine:

"Georgia was a proto slacker," writes Karbo. "There were days and weeks when she would read, spend hours tramping around outside, write letters, sew, and play dominoes…. But when Georgia worked, she worked her ass off."

[Sidebar on the book, How Georgia Became O'Keeffe where writer Karen Karbo spotlights the life and times of "a Midwester farm girl as she becomes a self-assured art world phenomenon."]

I immediately felt a sense of relief after reading that paragraph. And, as the day went by, I realized that all these years and even leading up to today, I have benefitted from pockets of listless time. Whether it was a 30 minute afternoon milk-tea break, wasting the living daylights out of one weekend, or even a full-year sabbatical (which I did back in 2009 resulting in a page in a cookbook, among other fun stuff!), so-called lazy days have surprisingly yielded productive results.

A couple of months ago, on a bus ride out of town, I sat next to a writer and editor named Sara Marcus, author of the book, Girls to the Front: The True Story of the Riot Grrrl Revolution. We were talking about writing books and self-imposed deadlines, and I told her about this long overdue novel in the works. She asked, "What's stopping you?" But during the course of our conversation (it was a long bus ride), she turned to me and said—and, I paraphrase—"Oh, don't be so hard on yourself. In the last four years, you immigrated to a new country, worked on becoming a citizen, got married…that's a lot."

These days, it's good to be reminded to never underestimate slower-than-usual moments, or even one's self—knowing and having faith that a productivity boost is just right around the corner. In the meantime, enjoy the slabs of dark chocolate.

Beauty Kaboom

Odd as it may sound, my forehead is a pretty reliable indicator of stress levels. Literally, the minute anything feels out of whack, trust that a zit will pop up. I know this seems ridiculous, but it's true.

Towards the latter part of December, I found myself with a gigantic pimple right smack on the forehead, a few millimeters short of center. If you read the Happy New Home post, it was in plain sight.

I know all of this sounds quite superficial, but I do have more serious thoughts about beauty that I'm better off not talking about in public. Oh, and I'm no longer stressed out right now, just wanted to share that bit of trivia and at the moment, indulge in some random ramblings on beauty, hair, and skincare, starting with...

1) A New Brightening Product
My former editors know how I feel about whitening products: I don't like them because they essentially go against the grain of loving one's own skin tone, no matter what. But, when new products come up marketed to even-out skin tone and address dark spots—and not exactly bleach your complexion to dangerous proportions—I'm more forgiving. Luminaze, for example, claims its formula is gentle enough to use everyday, thanks to an enzyme derived from mushrooms that targets melanin in the skin. The enzyme supposedly is 'programmed' to do that one thing, so that with anything else it touches, it's pretty much harmless—at least that's what the brand says about their product. What I think sets this apart from other brightening skincare is that it doesn't contain hydroquinone, a bleaching agent found in some products (not cool).

2) Haircare Resolution
In my Fashion Decisions post, I'd mentioned wanting to fix my hair more often. I figured, I should start going to the salon for regular blowouts—versus trying to address my tresses using a hairdryer because first, I don't have the patience to brush and dry my hair for almost an hour(!), and second, I just think it's a waste of time (even if I did have the patience…or flair for hair, for that matter) when I could be doing more productive things, or getting more sleep.

3) Beauty, in general
About those serious thoughts, well, let me touch on them for a bit. Lately, I've been thinking more and more about metrics for success, and the personality that comes with it. I realized, I want to be kind, sincere, and...real. If I have to sacrifice the above just to blaze a trail in my chosen field, or if I have to be mean and step on people's toes, I'd be happy to sit it out on the sidelines…and perhaps have more time to fixate on my hair!

Fashionscaping/Fashionscoping

Have you visited The Style Glossy yet?

At my part-time online job as managing editor of The Style Glossy microsite for Asia, I work on beauty, fashion, and lifestyle topics. So far, I've written about beauty and fashion philanthrophy ("Chic for a Cause"), the print-mixing trend ("How to Mix Prints"), what to do when you're sunburned ("Cooling Down: After-sun Special"), and more.

I should probably also write about "Shopping for Seamless Shape Wear" or "Finding the Best Body Shapers," as we could all use a little nip-tucking of the non-surgical kind. I rarely wear supertight clothing, but when I do wear a close-fitting outfit, I'd rather not worry about tummy bulges and back fat. Hence, I shall keep this in mind when the next editorial lineup is due.

What I like about the work that I do for the website is that first and foremost, it's off-site: I can work in the library after office hours, at Whole Foods, or right in the comfort of my home office. And, if I'm extra diligent and prudent, I can get the maximum return on my time spent writing. (That is why I mustn't procrastinate.)

That said, part of my job at The Style Glossy is to find and assign one blogger every month. So, if you happen to be based in Manila, Singapore, or Malaysia and have a great blog and write about the topics I've just mentioned, please do reach out and tell me more about yourself (and your blog!).

Image courtesy of The Style Glossy.

IT'S A WRAP!

DAY 30

of the 30-Day Blog Challenge, 2011

"Celebrate good times, come on!" [tanananant-tant-tanantant] "Woo hoo!"

Ooh la la! I've made it to the last day of this year's 30-Day Blog Challenge! This has been my third year of doing this around mid-July and I can truly say that the longer I do it, the more challenging it feels…which is a little surprising because one would expect things to be easier after having done it a few times. I am quickly reminded of my first major, Business Economics, wherein my third year, I still struggled with the economics subjects (hence, the shift to the more apt—for my personality and inclinations, at least—to Journalism). And, like college, I should probably keep at this until the fourth year, or even beyond.

Anyhow, sharing my thoughts about this whole process of blogging for 30 days straight!

1) Super (Mommy) Bloggers
I have newfound respect for daily bloggers in general. I know for many people out there, publishing a post everyday is the norm rather than the exception. Whereas I strive to follow a decent personal writing schedule, many of you just do it. I particularly admire the moms who find time to write posts on a regular basis, and even find the time to read blogs like mine (you know who you are!). While doing the Challenge, I struggled with getting everything done in one day—a full-time job, yoga (I've skipped some classes), my online part-time job (I've already missed a deadline…or two), updating my accounting Excel sheet (it's backlogged/back-dated as I write this), the occasional magazine article, and making it to the 12 midnight blogging deadline. I can only imagine what it's like for busy mommies out there who juggle jobs, PTA meetings, birthday parties, breastfeeding, and so forth. Hence, my virtual salute to all of ya!

2) Car Service
I recently asked a new friend how her boss—a famous person in the publishing world whom I shall not name here—managed her time and how it was possible for said boss to do everything that she did (books, magazines, speaking engagements). Even without asking, it's quite obvious that in order to successfully multi-task, one has to have top-notch staff. That's a given. But my friend gave two answers: One, the publishing executive woke up early and went to bed late. Two—and literally, two words: "car service."

You see, we all spend an inordinate amount of time commuting, running errands, and going from point A to point B on a daily basis. Being chauffeured to wherever means having pockets of space and time to zone out with one's Blackberry, iPhone, laptop, or iPad and do what one has to do…like blog! Even if it's as simple as doing your hair and makeup, being able to tick off something on your agenda while in motion gives you plus points in the productivity department. So, here's my friend's advice, and I paraphrase: "If you're negotiating a new job and it comes down to benefits and less money offered, ask for the car service."

Noted!

3) Gadgets To Go
Speaking of the things above, there have been times in the last 30 days that I've typed up drafts in my phone, or ducked into Starbucks and tip-tapped on the iPad (I recommend the Blogpress app, by the way). Once, I even worked on a post on the bus. If you're planning to do the Challenge, great gadgets are a big help, especially on days when you're pressed for time or when your schedule is packed; or even when you're just being lazy.

4) Bloggerjuice, Bloggerjuice, Bloggerjuice
I've said—or read?—this time and again: Writing is a muscle, and it needs regular exercise. I'd say it's like going to the bathroom; you need to do it everyday. The nice thing about having to blog everyday is that ideas flow and even when you're stumped for a post, something still comes up; the blogger juices flow. While I've mentioned that the Challenge gets harder every year, it's actually more of a function of time and scheduling, because it's more difficult to write after a long day when you're tired or sleepy, or, again, lazy. But, in terms of ideas presenting themselves or sentences/phrases/paragraphs forming in your head as you wait for the train to arrive, you get more of those as you write more often.

5) What's Next?
Truth be told, I doubt if I'll ever get to blog daily. It also comes down to quality vs. quantity. And my take on that is to have hearty helpings of both: quality, for when you want to tone that muscle and hone this skill; quantity, for when cardio and consistency are called for.

If you don't hear from me as often, that means I'm actually spending time finishing my long overdue Manila novel…and then hopefully have the discipline and fortitude to start the next one for here in New York. Friend and former Seventeen boss, Maya Calica, blogged about writing a novel in 30 days in her post, "Who wants to write a novel?" You'll also find her Suite 101 article linked up, "Writer's Block Be Gone—Tips on How to Write Your First Novel," which is very insightful and a must-read.

A bit of trivia, it was actually a blog post of Maya's that prompted the 30-Day Blog Challenge back in 2009. In it, she said, "Do something regularly over a period of 30 days and you will create a habit."

So, off I go, and onto the next challenge! Thank you, everyone, for the pep-comments and, of course, for reading my blog! It means a lot and it makes sense out of what I do and why I should keep doing this. Again, thank you, from the bottom of my heart (and chocolate-starved stomach).

Let's Talk Beauty

DAY 28

of the 30-Day Blog Challenge, 2011

Whether it's magazines, brand work, or makeup artistry, opportunities in beauty abound.

Every time I get close to saying goodbye to my career in beauty, new opportunities always seem to present themselves within this realm. A number of times I've said to myself (or to a friend), "I'm done with beauty, I'm ready for a career in food." As some of you know, it's still a dream of mine to work for the Food Network. Chalk it up to summers spent in Colorado, lazing away and tuning into the network all day.

Some of you may know that I've dabbled in makeup artistry in all these years (not uncommon for current and former beauty editors). Again, every time I decide to be "done with it," a new opportunity to practice comes up. Just recently, I was ready to donate my makeup kit to a cousin of mine—a nurse by profession—who is exploring makeup artistry as a hobby. And then within a day or two after, my aunt asked for "smoky eyes" minutes before heading out to a party. Times like these, I listen to the universe.

Last week, our interns at work approached my desk and asked, "Do you have a blog?" I gladly answered "Yes!" and went on to show them this site, as well as the very neglected All My Sugar. They asked if I had a beauty blog too. I explained that I had an archive of published beauty articles, but not exactly a blog. "I find it challenging to blog about beauty because it tends to feel like work," I said. Even back when I was a full-time editor, I rarely ever wrote about beauty products in my leisure time.

Don't get me wrong, I love beauty. And I appreciate every job that has come my way. Because of skincare, haircare, fragrance, cosmetics, and bath and body products, I've been able to travel the world and follow my publishing dreams. It has all been a pleasant and wonderful surprise—and I am so not complaining!

Are we there yet?

DAY 27

of the 30-Day Blog Challenge, 2011

I'm four posts away from finishing this year's 30-Day Blog Challenge, and it has been a real challenge so far coming up with a single post everyday, what with work, errands, yoga classes, and other things that occupy my time. But, I know completing it is a reward in itself.

I got to thinking about patience, persistence, and waiting:

1) Persistence pays off.

At mass today, the priest said, "God answers the prayers of the persistent." And, he also said this prayer of thanksgiving, "We thank You for all that we already have, and we only ask for more because of our reliance in You." I like the above quotes because, while I know that God already knows exactly what I need and want (chocolate), he also is a great listener. I akin it to a parent lovingly listening to a child narrating a Christmas wish list; a child fixating on a particular toy which, one morning, magically sits under the tree, topped with a gorgeous bow. It's a delightful moment for both giver and receiver. So, when you want something, ask, ask, ask! And then be grateful.


2) Patience is a virtue.

I think about my husband when discussing patience and (high) EQ—qualities that come naturally to him. You'll never see him harrowed by long airport lines or waiting in general (except probably at restaurants). He has the tenacity that comes from diligence, that's why he gets the promotion and lands the best deal when shopping. As for me, I'm pretty good at waiting and long lines too—having been an only child for the most part, boredom has rarely ever been an issue. Compared to my husband though, I am the impatient one. So it's good that we're together.

That said, I also believe that a little impatience thrown into the mix from time to time can be helpful, especially if it helps propel you forward. A nudge here and there, and you can go back to planting seeds and being patient.

3) Good things come to those who wait.

I subscribe to this quote as well but I can't help but think about Ann Boleyn, eep! Fine, not everybody suffers the fate of the beheaded queen—she did get the king after seven years of waiting before he decided to do away with her. Still, going back to #1, it's good to be persistent…and to try to find meaning in waiting.

Take Flight

DAY 7

of the 30-Day Blog Challenge, 2011

Part of flying is landing…with grace.

At a very lovely dinner with old and newly made friends, the subject of taking flight came up. And I paraphrase the words of Miriam, who, at the moment, holds the key to my next bowl of Ocean Don and being reunited with one of my favorite cafés in the world, even just for a moment. "It's easy to burst out and fly. It's in landing that you need grace and control."

In life, it's easy to be impulsive, or justify similar actions, especially when we truly want something, or when that something doesn't materialize nor come to our specifications. Finding ground means literally switching gears. It could mean learning how to react differently, breathing through a stressful situation, or simply being more respectful of circumstances.

When I first moved to New York, I made certain career mistakes—out of naiveness, impatience, or sheer ignorance (or all of the above). In my desire to reach new heights, I fell hard. I thought I'd never recover. But I did. And when that happened, I learned to be more deliberate in my actions, scrutinizing of people and situations, and most importantly, grateful for all the new opportunities that have given me the chance to try again, and try harder and hopefully make better decisions—in life and in career. True, some doors may possibly have closed permanently on me. But whereas a certain ship may have sailed, this plane has definitely landed.

All in a Day's Work

A small, but very functional space.

DAY 5

of the 30-Day Blog Challenge, 2011

It's no secret that I've experienced job loss before. This happened not once, not twice, but three times (a lady…sorry, had to say that).

The first time it happened, all I wanted to do in the days that followed was sleep, and maybe make brownies.

The second time it happened, I shipped out, and told myself I never wanted to live in New York again, how overrated the city was. Besides, I also had a wedding to plan: my own.

The third time it happened, I soldiered on. It also helped that I had a part-time writing and editing job that paid very well so I could somehow live decently without going flat-out broke. That, and I have a very generous and hardworking husband who can tell when my wallet's close to empty even without my mentioning it.

So, what is the moral of the story? You simply have to look at the big picture, or wait for enough time to pass so you can see and find meaning in the larger scheme of things. I've always said in this blog that there's a reason for every setback. Had #1 not happened—had I not lost my "dream job"—I wouldn't have met my co-author, Marsha Irving, with whom I collaborated on the Freshman 15 fitness book.

If #2 hadn't happened, yes, I would have had a lucrative proofreading and editing job with a popular fashion retail brand, but I probably wouldn't have gotten around having that fantabulous wedding, AND, I would still have undiagnosed lumps lurking inside my breasts. I'm serious.

If #3 hadn't happened, I wouldn't have been able to embark on the Travel Series, among many other "pluses" and experiences that have occurred since so far. (A number of them, leading to the job that I'm doing right now.)

When something sad happens with one's career, it's almost always a jump-off opportunity to pursue a different kind of success, except that the experience is disguised in a very unpalatable package. To me, it's exactly like a break-up, given how I take my jobs seriously. One still has to go through the requisite living-in-pajamas-not-wanting-to-get-up-and-eating-ice-cream phase, but past the pain, heartbreak, and aggravation is a journey that opens up doors to new opportunities.

Meanwhile, the three instances above are partly, if not, majorly the reason why I have three jobs right now—one, I do full-time, while the other two, part-time and at a very languid, leisurely pace. I have a working home office that can accommodate my writing, editing, and printing needs. While I've had to streamline my freelance writing career at some point early this year (I no longer contribute to the newspaper back home) I tend to welcome assignments without much hesitation. I'll take the $400 articles, next to the $5 tasks, next to the pieces that pay in Philippine pesos that my husband wishes I no longer did because they take up time and pay the equivalent of a trip to Whole Foods (not complaining!). Still, I do not discriminate; work is work, and I'm happy to be doing what I'm doing.

PS—
Have you experienced a career slump lately or have just been feeling down? You may want to read/reread the Inspiration Series :)

Take A Flyer

DAY 3

of the 30-Day Blog Challenge, 2011

I'll take them all!

If you randomly look into my handbag or second totebag (as is customary among New York commuters) it's not unusual for you to find a flyer or two, or even three inside. That's because I've made it a personal policy to accept all flyers that come my way—anybody standing on the street handing out any printed material, no exceptions.

This stems from my early days in the city. My first ever job was in a Japanese restaurant in midtown. For some of you who've read my old blog, Chocolate Soundboard, you may still remember the anecdotes and musings from that time, many of which were deeply personal and humbling. I worked as a hostess and was later on "promoted" to night Maître D'—which simply meant that my boss could leave me alone to seat people and update the table chart without any guidance because by then I already knew what I was doing. Prior to that job, I had never worked in a restaurant in my life. I didn't know how table numbers worked, what the logic behind seating groups of two, four, or more was, and let alone, how to deal with very hungry New Yorkers during lunch break.

Anyway, going back to my "flyering" story, the place I worked at also had a bar, as many NYC restos do. In the evening, there was Happy Hour, and it accommodated many of the workers in the banks nearby. (This was pre-recession/market crash, mind you.) During slow nights, my boss would ask the hostesses to hand out flyers. There were usually two of us in the evening shift so my coworker and I would take turns. Again, I've never had to hand out flyers in my life and this job came right after many years of working in the very glamorous magazine industry as a very glamorous editor. I've actually written about this in an On My Mind piece, "The Comfort Clause" for Cosmopolitan Magazine a while back and blogged about it here.

I did make peace with the flyering somehow and handed out our Happy Hour cards to Park Avenue passersby with a smile.

The big challenge came in the autumn: The weather changed and it became too cold to be standing out on the street. The thing with my then-boss was, the other hostess and I couldn't go back inside the restaurant until we'd finished our stack. Sometimes, relieved that we've finally gone through a stack, he would hand us a fresh pile. It was kinda funny, quaint, and amusing in the beginning (like I've said, I made peace). But, there was no humor in the task once we had to stand outside, shivering in the cold, for even just a couple of minutes.

You can just imagine my relief when I finally got my first publishing-related job here in New York around that time. I couldn't wait to leave the restaurant any sooner. But, the "flyering lesson," I did take and keep with me.

Another thing to consider about the flyer business, is that in some places, the people who do it for a living get paid by the number of pieces they get to hand out. I am guessing, in other instances, they get paid by the hour. Either way, it's not the easiest thing to be standing there, in the middle of a busy street, hoping enough people would take a sheet or two, or three...

So the next time you see someone handing out flyers, I do hope you take one. It doesn't take five seconds to do it, it's not an extra nuisance in your already-busy schedule. Think of it as a way of helping someone do her job.

Fired Up

Let the sunshine through. Summer Solstice is the day of the year
with the longest period of daylight. (Wikipedia)  

Walking to yoga class earlier, I caught a glimpse of my old office building down the road—a beaming tower of modern glass where I worked during my early days in New York. It occurred to me how the tower became the springboard for all the things that have happened, career-wise, from that time onward.

The thought passed and I arrived in class, not having any expectations other than the usual anticipation of an extra intense session, given that it was a Tuesday and that the teacher on that day always knew how to make everybody/every body sweat buckets.

When I got to the studio, students were quickly filling in and there were two bongo players in the room. It turns out, tonight was a celebration of Summer Solstice—the longest day of the year. It's when the sun reaches its highest point in the atmosphere, if I understood correctly (with the opposite being Winter Solstice). The teacher explained that Summer Solstice is the time we can harness the energy of the sun on this special day to initiate change/s in our life. And, if I go over the last 24 hours, I could very well say and point out special and amazing things that have happened; changes and happy occurrences, which, of course I ultimately attribute to God (because God made the sun, and the universe…).

While laying on the mat, I got to thinking about the words 'fired' and 'fired-up.' The former is a word that many prefer not to discuss, with 'layoff' being the more digestible and acceptable term. I thought, what if we started thinking about the word 'fired' in a way that it signified 'fired-up'…as in that springboard I mentioned earlier. We "fire up" to the next challenge. We "fire up" to the next job. We "fire up" to the next step.

Happy Summer, everyone!

About Not Worrying

"Can any of you add a day to your life by worrying about it?"

—Matthew 6:24–34

Meet Jagger, the cute, cuddly, chillax cat :)

This is going to be a long and another weighty one, bear with me. (Don't worry though—in the next two posts, I'll be talking about cream puffs and carrot cupcakes!)

A few weeks ago, after the Times Square incident, I went to Sunday mass as always and the readings and homily from that day particularly struck a chord in me, in a way that would change the way I would approach the new month of March and hopefully the rest of my life. It was as if everything read and said were tailor-made to what I was going through. I ended up taking some notes and I'd like to share them here—hoping they would help you as much as they had given me the reassurance when I needed it the most.

In the comments section from the Ikea post, a reader named Ela said, "I wonder where you are getting all the positivity." I got reminded of a paragraph I originally was going to add to the post back in its planning stages, but forgot to include when I wrote it. Anyway, what I wanted to say was, during moments of distress and despair—and, after the tears have been shed—I am usually presented with an opportunity to be grateful and to snap out of the self-pity. For instance, on the subway ride home that night, I saw a child peddling candy for 50 cents each. I've seen him before, he was different from the kids who toted boxes of M&Ms, Welch's Fruits Snacks, and so forth. This kid seemed barely 10 years old, and he just had this large plastic container filled with fun-size candy bars. Everytime I see him, my heart breaks, because to me, children shouldn't even be working AT ALL. Children should be in school, in the playgound, at home playing videogames, or at the park doing sports...NOT hopping from subway car to subway car selling old candy from a plastic box. Moments like these bring me back to reality and remind me that what I’m going through can be quite mundane compared to the plight of other people. And, no—I do not take delight in other people’s hardships and pointing them out is a way to remind myself to stop being selfish (and, yes, dramatic).

Plug into positivity by surrounding yourself with optimistic people, eating well, and going to nice
(and sunny!) spaces. Here, my friend, Kat, whose company (and apartment!) I turn to whenever
I need a think-positive boost.

Another story that somewhat got buried in my blog backlog also parallels the incident above. Here's what I wrote back then:

"Walking to the subway station headed home from Rob and Grace's wedding, I felt melancholic...and lonely. I missed my husband and I had just come from the first wedding since our own back in February. But then two things caught my attention in my sentimental revelry: First, was a man wheeling his vendor cart, who also, by the looks of it, was headed home. And, second, a man quietly putting away melons in boxes at his fruit stand, ready to close for the night. You know how I feel about people who do physical labor (see Train Lesson post). Here I was, by day, sitting in an air-conditioned office midtown, eating my fancy salad and expensive chocolate, sipping free green tea and coffee; complaining about how lonely I was because my husband is far away. What about those people who have families living in other countries? Or those who have no choice... migrant workers who simply can't afford to feel [‘sad’ or ‘lazy’] because their bodies have to do the work? With that, and buying as much fruit as I could hope to consume in the next couple of days, I hopped on the subway with yet again, a renewed respective."

So, back to the notes from the readings, Gospel, and homily I’ve mentioned. (They were from the February 27, Eighth Sunday in Ordinary Time, which you may read here.)

1. God KNOWS.
In the Gospel, Jesus says: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. ... Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all." That was it, an eyeopener for me—God knows I need all these things. This is the same reading that mentions birds: "Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they? Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?"

2. Clocks in the moment.
The priest told the story of the worrying clock (it's also mentioned in the website, Munachi.com). The clock started fixating on the total number of times it had to tick: two ticks to the second, 120 ticks per minute, 7200 ticks per hour, 172,800 ticks per day, 1,209,600 per week for 52 weeks, and a total of 62,899,200 per year. Overwhelmed, the clock went to a psychiatrist who asked, "Clock, what's your trouble?" "Oh, doctor," the clock complained, "I have to tick so much. I have to tick two ticks a second and 120 ticks per minute and 7200 ticks per hour, and ..." "Hold it," the psychiatrist cut in, "How many ticks do you have to tick at a time?" "Oh, I just have to tick one tick at a time," was the reply. "Then let me make a suggestion," replied the doctor. "You go home and try ticking one tick at a time. Don't even think about the next tick until its time. Just tick one tick at a time. Can you do that?" "Of course, I can" said the clock now happy and revived.

This is another reminder for us to live in the moment, and be in the NOW.

"Success and failure aren't for you to determine—just do what you have to do in the present and you will succeed," said the priest. (I now wish I knew his name!)

3. Worrying vs. Humiliation
"Worrying won't heal or cancel the humiliation or hurt you'd experienced in the past," he said. Wallowing in self-pity and past failures won't propel you forward—it only prevents you from finding and doing constructive things that lead to newer, happier, and successful results and feelings.

4. The Job Interview
This one hit the nail on the head in particular because I struggle, and I do mean STRUGGLE, with interviews (I don't mind it though if I'm the one asking questions). Face-to-face job interviews are partly the reason why I make my work so available online. I find it easier to let the work speak for itself, versus having to "sell" it to a potential employer in person. Then, I end up either going on deer-caught-in-headlights mode or putting my foot in my mouth. It's such a delicate dance that I am working towards mastering.

Stressed? Find a friendly, furry feline.

Anyway, it also came as a surprise to me that this career-oriented subject was even mentioned at mass, that's why I noted earlier that this particular one felt tailor-made. The priest pointed out that thoughts of "Am i going to fail, am I going to succeed?" bring on anxiety and negativity that you end up not being able to present yourself in the best light and in the most natural way.

5. Really, Don't Worry!
Again, I quote from the Gospel: "So do not worry and say, 'What are we to eat?' or 'What are we to drink?' or 'What are we to wear?'... Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself."

Ikea My Way

An affordable way to cheer up.

While the Ikea in Red Hook, Brooklyn is miles from where I live, it's surprisingly easy and convenient to get to, thanks to a reliable subway system and the free shuttle one could take upon alighting from the train (in the wintertime, just be sure to bundle up for the wait at the stop).

Before I go on with a fairly recent afternoon's trip to the Swedish megastore, let me tell you a story:

In the middle of Times Square, one night I found myself crying in public while on the phone with my husband. It was from all the bottled up frustration—coupled with the loneliness from being far away from him—that I shamelessly started to tear up amidst the crowd and on a very busy street. If you've been reading this blog, you would know that I'm big on positivity, going with the flow, and living in the moment. But, that night, I succumbed to a weak moment and the reality of my situation suddenly hit me: I was jobless, alone, and somewhat broke. I also felt like a nobody—a feeling triggered by a previous visit to the Fox Newscorp building where I went in to use the ATM and was turned away by the guards (it was a holiday so they weren't really letting people without a company ID in). I thought: Will I even end up working here to get my Julia Roberts moment a la Pretty Woman? (Cue script: "Remember I was here the other day and you wouldn't let me in? Big mistake, HUGE. I have to go shopping now...")

In New York, I have no clout, no influence over office buildings... I knew it was a very mundane situation and it was the job of security to screen people out, but that night was a compoundment of all the exasperation I'd been feeling ever since I lost my last full-time job and embarked on this bumpy journey of a jobhunt. I felt overwhelmed by the rejection, the uncertainty, the waiting... I just wanted to cry. So I did.

Meatballs and more.

Now back to Ikea. I did mention that I was somewhat broke, meaning, not totally. My wallet hasn't been empty (at its leanest, it still had coins), thanks to a little help from loved ones. And, I do have my writing jobs, but the checks have been delayed, and when this Times Square incident happened, I had been lagging behind my rent and I had an upcoming bill to pay.

I needed serious cheering up—fast, and on the cheap. I couldn't think of a better way of drowning my sorrrows while being productive than a super sulit, affordable meal in the Ikea cafeteria and a quiet moment to tip-tap-type away...somewhere distant, somewhere neutral, somewhere I could gather my thoughts, re-compose myself, and get back on track with the whole positive thing. And, good food and good design are pretty much excellent antidotes to melanchoy and self-pity.

Over a refillable cup of good coffee and a slice of chocolate cream cake, compose my thoughts, feelings, and self, I did. It occurred to me to make the Ikea café my back-up office when I needed a change of scenery from the one I had at home. I also thought of applying in retail and making my Swedish store fancy official...whatever it takes to keep moving, to keep applying, to keep interviewing, until I finally find a new office and land myself a job that would make all these New York plans and dreams a reality. It could be a spot selling well-designed housewares, it could be a cubicle in a shiny high-rise tower writing some sort of snappy marketing copy, it could be anything. But, one thing's for sure, the next time you see me in Times Square you won't find me sobbing.

New York

Seventh and last post of the Travel Series.

View of the Williamsburg Bridge from Kent St. in Brooklyn.

And then there's New York. Here is where I'll probably always feel at home other than Manila. New York is where I could pop by Grand Central if I have a craving for chicken barbecue with mashed potatoes and milk gravy (Brother Jimmy's BBQ) or a mushroom and blue cheese crepe with a side of greens (Ciao Bella); where, to my left is a bum taking a nap and to my right are struggling model lookalikes dishing on rent and potential part-time jobs at Hérmés and internships at Diane Von Furstenberg.

A colorful store display from last summer.

New York City is where I could go to a deli during lunch hour and get a chopped salad with unlimited toppings, or, maybe get a $5 half-chicken-half-falafel with rice meal from the Halal food truck, and then sit by a bench across the street. NYC is where shops like Michael Kors,  Cole Haan, and Stuart Weitzman are abound, and, ironically, could be steps away from street vendors selling designer-inspired bags, scarves, and hats.

Meals on wheels.

True, every now and then I think that New York is overrated. I get tired of pompous artsy fartsy types who make simple things complicated, or executives who don't read or respond to their own emails. Yet, this city is so diverse and encouraging that maybe one minute I'm in Brooklyn watching a comedy set at The Knitting Factory, and the next minute, I'm going up to a comedian and writer for 30 Rock named Hannibal Burress, asking him advice on where to go for improv classes. Maybe the next week I think about volunteering at the writers room and/or applying in the page program, so I ask a yoga classmate who works at NBC to help forward an application packet to Hannibal…and Tina Fey(!).

Perhaps my packet goes from the mailroom straight to the garbage bin, unnoticed. Or, maybe, whoever ends up reading it wonders, "Is she for real?" (In any case, if you're a 30 Rock or NBC staffer reading this, my answer is yes, I am willing to restart my career from the ground up. Again, just please give me a meal allowance so I don't go seriously broke.)

Maybe on another day, while on a cupcake run in Chelsea, I bump into Food Network exec Bob Tuschman, whom I promptly beg for any job at the station.

Just maybe.

It's the endless promise of something new, bigger, and more exciting that keeps me coming back for more.

Gorgeous apartments (nope, not mine).

One-of-a-kind weddings.

Tiny living spaces (yup, mine).

The New York City Marathon (to watch).

Eggs Norwegian like no other.

Quaint coffeeshops (that sell bite-size cream puffs).

Really, what's not to love? And, if I do get tired of this busy, bustling city, I can go back to any of the places featured in the Travel Series. For now—cue: Jay-Z's Empire State of Mind—"let's hear it
for New York, New York, New York…"

READ the Travel Series starting with...

1. DENVER

2. SILVERTHORNE & BRECKENRIDGE

3. SAN FRANCISCO

4. SONOMA COUNTY

5. NAPA VALLEY

6. CHICAGO

7. NEW YORK

Nino

On the subway ride home from the Inglot event I'd attended, what usually is an easy, sleepy ride, became an anxious, existential inner debate—which is saying a lot since I don't even use those words (they sound pretentious, don't they?). Instead of dozing off by the nth stop, I was wraught with anxiety and questions about where I'm headed in my career, such as: When will I email so and so? When do I start pitching [these magazines]? Plus, random thoughts, like, New York beauty events are depressing; beauty bloggers are narcissistic. [Touché.]

I felt a sense of limbo. Estée Lauder (beauty person) or Food Network (assistant of an assistant of a sous chef of one of the TV chefs)? Be a senior copywriter at an "esteemed" advertising agency or apply in the page program at NBC (and get a chance to order Tina Fey's lunch)?

Walking home, I cut through the park where the snow has finally melted. There, I met Nino, a fat English bulldog being walked by a kind lady who stopped to let the adorable rotund heavyweight of a furball sniff my coat. I bent over to ruffle his ear and for a good minute let him sniff away. Within moments, Nino dragged his feet as we parted ways, and in that instant, I forgot all about everything else and felt a little smile sweep across my face.