About Not Worrying

"Can any of you add a day to your life by worrying about it?"

—Matthew 6:24–34

Meet Jagger, the cute, cuddly, chillax cat :)

This is going to be a long and another weighty one, bear with me. (Don't worry though—in the next two posts, I'll be talking about cream puffs and carrot cupcakes!)

A few weeks ago, after the Times Square incident, I went to Sunday mass as always and the readings and homily from that day particularly struck a chord in me, in a way that would change the way I would approach the new month of March and hopefully the rest of my life. It was as if everything read and said were tailor-made to what I was going through. I ended up taking some notes and I'd like to share them here—hoping they would help you as much as they had given me the reassurance when I needed it the most.

In the comments section from the Ikea post, a reader named Ela said, "I wonder where you are getting all the positivity." I got reminded of a paragraph I originally was going to add to the post back in its planning stages, but forgot to include when I wrote it. Anyway, what I wanted to say was, during moments of distress and despair—and, after the tears have been shed—I am usually presented with an opportunity to be grateful and to snap out of the self-pity. For instance, on the subway ride home that night, I saw a child peddling candy for 50 cents each. I've seen him before, he was different from the kids who toted boxes of M&Ms, Welch's Fruits Snacks, and so forth. This kid seemed barely 10 years old, and he just had this large plastic container filled with fun-size candy bars. Everytime I see him, my heart breaks, because to me, children shouldn't even be working AT ALL. Children should be in school, in the playgound, at home playing videogames, or at the park doing sports...NOT hopping from subway car to subway car selling old candy from a plastic box. Moments like these bring me back to reality and remind me that what I’m going through can be quite mundane compared to the plight of other people. And, no—I do not take delight in other people’s hardships and pointing them out is a way to remind myself to stop being selfish (and, yes, dramatic).

Plug into positivity by surrounding yourself with optimistic people, eating well, and going to nice
(and sunny!) spaces. Here, my friend, Kat, whose company (and apartment!) I turn to whenever
I need a think-positive boost.

Another story that somewhat got buried in my blog backlog also parallels the incident above. Here's what I wrote back then:

"Walking to the subway station headed home from Rob and Grace's wedding, I felt melancholic...and lonely. I missed my husband and I had just come from the first wedding since our own back in February. But then two things caught my attention in my sentimental revelry: First, was a man wheeling his vendor cart, who also, by the looks of it, was headed home. And, second, a man quietly putting away melons in boxes at his fruit stand, ready to close for the night. You know how I feel about people who do physical labor (see Train Lesson post). Here I was, by day, sitting in an air-conditioned office midtown, eating my fancy salad and expensive chocolate, sipping free green tea and coffee; complaining about how lonely I was because my husband is far away. What about those people who have families living in other countries? Or those who have no choice... migrant workers who simply can't afford to feel [‘sad’ or ‘lazy’] because their bodies have to do the work? With that, and buying as much fruit as I could hope to consume in the next couple of days, I hopped on the subway with yet again, a renewed respective."

So, back to the notes from the readings, Gospel, and homily I’ve mentioned. (They were from the February 27, Eighth Sunday in Ordinary Time, which you may read here.)

1. God KNOWS.
In the Gospel, Jesus says: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. ... Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all." That was it, an eyeopener for me—God knows I need all these things. This is the same reading that mentions birds: "Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they? Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?"

2. Clocks in the moment.
The priest told the story of the worrying clock (it's also mentioned in the website, Munachi.com). The clock started fixating on the total number of times it had to tick: two ticks to the second, 120 ticks per minute, 7200 ticks per hour, 172,800 ticks per day, 1,209,600 per week for 52 weeks, and a total of 62,899,200 per year. Overwhelmed, the clock went to a psychiatrist who asked, "Clock, what's your trouble?" "Oh, doctor," the clock complained, "I have to tick so much. I have to tick two ticks a second and 120 ticks per minute and 7200 ticks per hour, and ..." "Hold it," the psychiatrist cut in, "How many ticks do you have to tick at a time?" "Oh, I just have to tick one tick at a time," was the reply. "Then let me make a suggestion," replied the doctor. "You go home and try ticking one tick at a time. Don't even think about the next tick until its time. Just tick one tick at a time. Can you do that?" "Of course, I can" said the clock now happy and revived.

This is another reminder for us to live in the moment, and be in the NOW.

"Success and failure aren't for you to determine—just do what you have to do in the present and you will succeed," said the priest. (I now wish I knew his name!)

3. Worrying vs. Humiliation
"Worrying won't heal or cancel the humiliation or hurt you'd experienced in the past," he said. Wallowing in self-pity and past failures won't propel you forward—it only prevents you from finding and doing constructive things that lead to newer, happier, and successful results and feelings.

4. The Job Interview
This one hit the nail on the head in particular because I struggle, and I do mean STRUGGLE, with interviews (I don't mind it though if I'm the one asking questions). Face-to-face job interviews are partly the reason why I make my work so available online. I find it easier to let the work speak for itself, versus having to "sell" it to a potential employer in person. Then, I end up either going on deer-caught-in-headlights mode or putting my foot in my mouth. It's such a delicate dance that I am working towards mastering.

Stressed? Find a friendly, furry feline.

Anyway, it also came as a surprise to me that this career-oriented subject was even mentioned at mass, that's why I noted earlier that this particular one felt tailor-made. The priest pointed out that thoughts of "Am i going to fail, am I going to succeed?" bring on anxiety and negativity that you end up not being able to present yourself in the best light and in the most natural way.

5. Really, Don't Worry!
Again, I quote from the Gospel: "So do not worry and say, 'What are we to eat?' or 'What are we to drink?' or 'What are we to wear?'... Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself."