"Go in peace."

DAY 6 of the Inspiration Series

Big bites, little bites. There's something for everybody in the Big Apple.

The last couple of days have been so busy that I didn't even realize I haven't blogged in 10 days! Yikes! Sorry to keep you all hanging. Now back to regular Inspiration programming :)

I was in New York this week, and have had quite a productive time out there. The trip included a list of tasks and errands to accomplish, and I must say I'm happy with the results.

The first thing that came to mind when I got to Grand Central was…I didn't miss it. Not just yet. Strange, huh? Then I went to Serafina—an old favorite hangout, for the fruity olive oil, blocks of parmesan, crusty-chewy bread, and thin-crust gorgonzola/pesto pizza—and saw two friends. I managed to squeeze in an errand in Harlem, a place I likened to Cubao, for the street vendors, clustered shops, and overall feeling of alertness I've had to harness at a young age while learning to commute around Manila.

More than the errands and brimming to-do list, I discovered certain things about myself and the kind of lifestyle I'm drawn towards:

1. I was happy to go around town on my own, and I still enjoyed the pace people walked and the accessibility of each block.

2. I didn't find the need to fraternize with a large group, instead choosing simple one-on-one catch-up sessions with just a few friends.

3. I enjoyed the familiarity, but knew in my heart it wasn't time to go back. Again, not just yet.

Re: #2, at sporadic points during my trip, I felt a little bit sad after realizing that it's taken me some time to heal from the trauma of some failed friendships I had made over a year ago. If you read this blog regularly, I think you'd be able to piece together bits and parts of the story: from the breast cysts I got from the stress, down to the disbelief of being talked about for the first time in years, since high school.

I caught myself talking about this carelessly, when in fact, it should have already long been a closed book. Upon realizing this, I'd resolved to completely move on and refrain from even broaching the subject.

At mass earlier, it was as if God, through the Gospel reading, was telling me to do the exact same thing:

"Nothing that enters one from the outside can defile that person; but the things that come from within are what defile."

I likened this to the saying, "You can't change certain things or certain people; but you can change your reaction towards the circumstances."

It's true: Whatever hurt I'd experienced in the past, whatever the betrayal, the dishonesty, the misunderstandings…those were all external. And the only thing that can truly heal me, other than prayer, is my reaction and desire to move forward. So that's exactly what I'll will myself to do from this point on. Even if it means limiting the social scope of my future life in the city. So this time, I am truly going for quality. And besides, I'm not one to play the victim, it's so not my theme in life.

During the homily, as if echoing my decision to be more scrutinizing of the friendships I make and keep, the priest talked about the difference between being judgmental and protecting one's self. "If you have to avoid 'Fred' not because you are condemning him but protecting your own salvation, that's not being judgmental," he said. "But if you're focusing on Fred's faults, then the other saying from Christ Himself applies to you: 'Why do you look at the splinter on your friend's eyes, but not the beam in yours?'"

So this time, and like I've always had anyway but have at times succumbed to indulgent gossiping, I'm now all for 'peace that passes understanding.'


The Inspiration Series

DAY 1 - "It smells like God."
DAY 2 - "You're a kind soul."
DAY 3 - "Just wait for it."
DAY 4 - "I have all I need."
DAY 5 - "Take the plunge."
DAY 6 - "Go in peace."
DAY 7 - "Don't stop believing."

"Take the plunge."

DAY 5 of the Inspiration Series

The cheese counter at the Grand Central Market: a reason to make Manhattan one's home.

When I first moved to New York, I had about $500 to spend (cash and credit combined) and a generous $400-600 rent donation from my mother. To this day I am amazed and baffled by this and I keep thinking, How on earth did I even think I would survive on that amount?

But I did.

That's not to say though that I didn't struggle during those early days. My first few weeks were marked by the following realizations:

1. OH. MY. GOSH—I'm alone in NYC. Even if I was living "independently" in my hometown, I still had a steadfast support system around me. My dad's house was 20 minutes away from my apartment; Alvs lived nearby as well; doctors were a text message away; my landlady treated me like family. Life was pretty much cushy, despite living on what I thought then to be a meager editor salary.

2. I can't sleep on an airbed! Yet, I couldn't cough up the $300 for a new mattress. I also couldn't get approved for the six-month installment plan at Sleepy's around the block, because I was new in town and therefore had no credit history. I did find a decent, brand new orthopedic twin mattress in a small furniture store in Queens (the manager probably took pity on me) for a good $150. I blogged about this experience/ordeal in great detail in ChocolateSoundboard.com, which is now private.

3. I have to find a job—ASAP. With a huge chunk of my money spent on the bed, I had about a week or two to survive without going totally broke…or hungry. I met up with a friend from my early days at Seventeen. We were interns back then and she's an actress now based in New York. She mentioned I should look into restaurant hostessing—a job seemingly many actors take on for the flexibility (and visibility, I presume). At the time, I was still waiting for a call from Hearst, so I had to temp somewhere, somehow.

On my seventh day in New York, I found a hostessing job at a Japanese resto on Park Avenue (ah, the beauty of Craig's List), wherein I'd worked for three months before finally landing my first "official" big city job at the Hearst Tower. Here's my article on the experience.

4. Which way is east/west/north/south? During those first few weeks, I had to leave the house extra early to allot enough time for travel. Now, my apartment in Sunnyside was only 15 minutes from midtown Manhattan, BUT I kept taking the train going the opposite direction, thus, doubling my commute. It took me a good three months to get my geographical bearings. To this day, I can say that the public transportation system is one of my favorite things about New York. I drove around a lot in Manila, and I said when I moved to NYC, I would only take public transportation.

The great thing about sharing this whole experience is that, I'm not the only one I know who's left everything lovely back home for a bite of the Big Apple. I was just chatting with a friend—a prolific accessories designer in my hometown—a couple of weeks back and she was contemplating a Big Move as well. The other day I got an email saying she was already in town, and currently looking for sublets near F.I.T., where she'll be attending the fall term.

My former roommates also shared anecdotes on their early days in New York. One of them slept on an airbed for months. He didn't have the motorized pump so he had to manually inflate the bed every night for it had holes in it ("My lips became as big and red as Angelina's!"). His wife, on the other hand, had subsisted on canned food and survived old roommates who rummaged through her belongings. But now both of them are happily settled in, have a new baby, and are enjoying life in the city.

Manhattan is scattered with people with their own unique stories about leaving their comfortable lives and just taking the plunge. Some find success and stay, some find out it's not their thing and Manhattan is not all that, while some stay for a bit and share the experience back home. I, for one, have finally reconciled my living situation in New York. I'm no longer a full-time resident, for the time being. However, much of the work I do now and most of my income still comes from there (ah, the beauty of telecommuting).

Money will always be an issue—at least if you make it to be. I truly believe that if you pursue what your heart craves and what your gut calls out to do, the resources will follow. In the same vein as when my dad told me to never take a high-paying job for the sole reason being money, going for something you want or a livelihood you enjoy, opens up the cashflow down the line.


The Inspiration Series

DAY 1 - "It smells like God."
DAY 2 - "You're a kind soul."
DAY 3 - "Just wait for it."
DAY 4 - "I have all I need."
DAY 5 - "Take the plunge."
DAY 6 - "Go in peace."
DAY 7 - "Don't stop believing."

Blogger vs. Wordpress: 5 Reasons Why I Prefer Blogger

Believe me, I've tried.

And now I can say that I do prefer Blogger over WordPress, for many reasons (and as a disclaimer, I'm saying they're all very biased, so please go easy on the comments). Before I begin, here are the stats:

Sites I have with WordPress: two
Sites I have with Blogger: seven up

1. WordPress.com and WordPress.org
That alone poses way too many complications in an already complicated world wide web. The former is the free blogging service and the latter is the software source of the blogging service if you choose to host your blog/site yourself. (Check out http://WebHostingGeeks.com if you're shopping for web site hosting. Their Top 10 Best Web Hosts (2009) chart is helpful.) For the sake of clarity and simplicity, my Blogger-Wordpress comparisons only refer to my experience with the .com—the free blogging service like Blogger—and not .org.

2) Free Domain Mapping
I've been using Blogger since 2003. Back then the interface was quite raw, and you had to input your own HTML code to insert photos. Thus, my early posts had no images, and the latter ones that did, took so long to complete. I didn't notice several new features right away, but down the line, the interface became very visual and friendly, with plenty of drag-and-drop, 'point-and-click' settings, including registering your own domain right on the Blogger dashboard.

WordPress has this, too. BUT, as of this posting, they charge a whopping $14.95 yearly for directing your blog to your own domain. So if I want to move ChocolateCaster.wordpress.com to ChocolateCaster.com, I'd have to pay that fee on top of what I'll spend on the domain purchase. If I want to redirect ChocolateCaster.blogspot.com to its own domain, it's FREE on Blogger!

3) Unlimited HTML and CSS editing.
Now that I've mentioned the fees WordPress.com charges, if you want to customize your template and change colors, headers, and fonts, you have to pay a yearly fee of about $15, too. In Blogger, if I find a lovely new template from one of the many, many talented designers out there, but happen to prefer this particular shade of aqua or midnight blue, I can go ahead an tweak the template myself—free! (Web etiquette just calls for not erasing the author credits on the gutter.)

4) AdSense and advertisements.
I earn pennies monthly from AdSense, literally. I have about $7 (seven US dollars) in total earnings from the time I started utilizing the service; which only means I have A LOT to learn in terms of optimizing my site/s, building traffic, increasing click-through rates, and so forth. But my point is, I'd at least like to have the decision to optimize, or have nothing to do with ads at all, be made by me. WordPress.com does not allow any ads whatsoever. At the most, a blog author can put up a PayPal button for donations.

5) User-friendly interface.
I cannot begin to describe the number of times I got so stressed out and irritated by WordPress's Dashboard. I find it extremely unfriendly. Again, this the very biased opinion of someone who has used Blogger for years; even back when the user's opening page wasn't even called "Dashboard." Whenever I try to edit the sites that I do have on WordPress, I end up just wanting to get done ASAP and close the window.


YET, NEVER SAY NEVER… According to a ProBlogger survey conducted in 2006, Wordpress.org leads the roster of platforms bloggers use to publish their sites, with Blogger coming second, followed by Movable Type, ExpressionEngine, TypePad, and WordPress.com.

In 2007, on the other hand, PC World gave Blogger the top spot ("Best Buy!"; 91 points - Superior) and WordPress, second (88 points - Very Good); followed by TypePad, Lycos Tripod, and Squarespace. (Click here for the original article link.)

Well, it's like that great PC-versus-Mac debate: It's never-ending and it boils down to personal preference. Who knows if one day NyMinuteNow.com finds its next home in Wordpress? After all, many successful and prominent blogs use it, and many of them are visually enticing, engaging, streamlined, and reader-friendly.

But for now the verdict is out: Blogger it is.

A 2007 reader survey done by ProBlogger.net.

Happy Cupcakes

Classic vanilla cupcakes with fluffy white frosting.

Here's a sweet intermission while I'm brewing the next Inspiration blog post. I made these from Martha Stewart's White Layer Cake recipe on her website, turning it into cupcakes for easy access and enjoyment. I iced them with her 7-Minute frosting recipe as well.

I know making these treats may sound tedious—you'll be wielding an electric beater for the most part, separating egg whites, sifting flour, etc.—but trust me, it's fun and delightful...especially when you find that you have a big tub of white icing leftover to enjoy.

You know I'd ship these out to you guys if proximity and shelf life weren't an issue!

"I have all I need."

DAY 4 of the Inspiration Series

"And if I need more, it'll come."

I just wrote that on my notebook and within minutes—or maybe seconds—the song, "All I Need" by Air (from the album, "Moon Safari: A Lunar Adventure") played randomly on iTunes. Doesn't that sound divine, literally? I know God listens and affirms with grace.

I had a full day with family today. I know for many of you reading this blog, it's not unusual to spend Sundays with loved ones, hearing mass, going out to lunch, shopping around town, enjoying a hearty dinner. But to me, this is something I treasure because I'd missed out on this for many years, having lived independently since my early teens and for most of my adult life.

I always joke with my mother that I've done this totally backwards. In the Philippines, most girls live with their parents until they're married. Some get their own apartments after graduation, but the former is the norm. I, on the other hand, am living with my mother for the first time since I was 13! It's as if I'm cashing in on those missed years. But Mom says it's not even an issue: I'm getting married, and I need to save up. And she loves having me around, taking advantage of her marvelous kitchen gadgets. So Thank you, mom.

Anyway, I dormed throughout high school and up to Freshman year college. By then my aunt and uncle said I should be spending college in a family environment (I was an only child at the time), so I lived with them, and my three cousins, for three years. We were quite close, to the point that my youngest cousin, who had been born the following year, thought I was her sister. Eventually, I moved out (and my cousin cried when she found out I was her cousin! Aww...)

Don't get me wrong, dear blog readers: To borrow Liv Tyler's words describing her childhood, "Mine was filled with love." There may have been times when my parents were absent, but everybody pitched in and provided me with a sense of family. Probably quite the non-traditional kind, but family nonetheless. My favorite aunt, Tita Joan, once said, "Family isn't just blood." And it's true.

As for those times my immediate family members were 'absent,' my dad, back then was new at his newspaper job and was busy toiling away at work to the point that he bunked with other reporters/editors in the office living quarters for many years. He didn't get paid much in the beginning, but he was able to send me to college and provide for me financially. Plus share helpful books (see my "Good Morning, America post from last year) and insights along the way.

My mother, on the other hand, was busy trying to get all of us a green card. These days she lives comfortably, but during her early years in the U.S., she took on several jobs to make ends meet. Eventually, after the strain of a five-year long distance relationship, she and my dad split. But I won't elaborate on that in this post (looong story).

Anyway, those three years I'd lived with relatives before moving out were quite critical in my growth as an adult human being:

I learned how to ride a bike at 16.

At 16, Tito Al hired an instructor to teach me how to ride a bike. This was in Baguio, (a northern city in the Philippines) during a family vacation, and they didn't come get me until I was balancing/wobbling on my own. Within weeks, we were rough-riding at the construction site of what is now The Fort. I am not kidding—we were biking around tractors, submerged in dirt, on unpaved/non-existent roads. By Christmas that year, Tito Al and Tita Joan gifted me with a bicycle—one that I took to school, to the climbing gym, around town.

At 17 and 18, I learned to eat Boursin and Havarti, enjoy chewy walnut bread from the Mandarin Hotel, eat chicken baked in paprika, know what a clean kitchen and living room should look like, source seat covers from obscure places, PAINT a gate (not kidding!), clean and oil a bicycle, do long and short runs, make (or destroy) carbonara, and so forth. The works.

By 19, I was on my own, again. But armed and ready to be independent. I didn't go wild, I'd been trained well. I felt like a responsible adult.

In retrospect, I see that no matter how life seemed lacking or incomplete at different points in time, I'd actually been given the building blocks needed for each step of the way and every accomplishment. Sometimes it's just easier to fixate on what's missing, and crave for certain things, but looking at the big picture, it's all in there.

Image courtesy of http://www.tunequest.org/ (album) and http://www.abikestore.com (bicycle).

The Inspiration Series

DAY 1 - "It smells like God."
DAY 2 - "You're a kind soul."
DAY 3 - "Just wait for it."
DAY 4 - "I have all I need."
DAY 5 - "Take the plunge."
DAY 6 - "Go in peace."
DAY 7 - "Don't stop believing."