September 30, 2009

A Reason for Every Setback

Elle Woods' heartbreak merited Harvard success.

If there's one quote I've learned to appreciate and live by, it's this:
"There's a reason for every setback."
I cannot begin to enumerate the number of times I've had "Aha!" moments just by realizing this.

My earliest memory of how this meaningfully—or even magically—worked in my life was 10 years ago. I was 19 and an avid climber at a gym near school. While I didn't exactly train everyday, I was a mainstay and felt quite at-home in there. At the time I'd already joined a handful of competitions, and was at a comfortable place.

Every year, the owner of the gym and staff picked a handful members for the national team training pool. The main perk of being part of this team was that one got to climb for free (monthly fees waived) and of course, get the prestige of being part of the group.

I thought I was a shoo-in for a slot until a friend told me I was overlooked, because I didn't exactly workout there everyday. (In retrospect, there was some truth to that; I spent more time having coffee and eating banana bread by the counter than actually scaling walls.)

Another friend got in. Suffice it to say, I was heartbroken. Being told I didn't make the cut for basically not seeming to want to train was insulting, plus, I could really use the free monthly training. I was on a very meager student budget at the time.

Feeling betrayed, I started avoiding that climbing gym altogether. Instead, I went to the other branch, owned by the same people, but the likelihood of seeing them, and other friends who casted their vote, weren't as likely because this other gym was FAR from the one by my school. I probably had to take two kinds of public transportation to get to that place but it was worth it: I could concentrate on climbing, training, and getting stronger.

And train, climb, and get strong I did. I focused on finishing difficult routes, and just kept climbing and climbing and climbing until my body smarted and my hands were as callused as a carpenter's.

During this time at the other gym, I got to partner and train with my friend and mentor, Marie Calica (former beauty editor of Marie Claire Philippines; visit her blog, The Beauty Coach here ).

I climbed my heart out. With Marie, I finished one of the toughest and highest walls there after weeks of training. Eventually, the same owner who gave me the thumbs down, noticed, and finally included me in that branch's roster for the nationals. For some reason the mechanics were different in that gym (there was no free training), but finally, I was part of Team Xxxxx-xx.

The moral of the story is: Diligence, hard work, and persistence always pay off.

It's just ironic that I had to travel miles to get to a place and earn my climbing merits, far away from the homebase. Strange, but worth it.

But here's why this incident is special and major to me. Fast-forward to succeeding events, months and years down the line:

1. Marie opened up the world of fashion and beauty for me. As in the kind that one can make a living out of. That's why I call her my mentor.

2. Marie's sister, Maya, became my first boss at Seventeen, where I interned for four months and eventually got hired as an editorial assistant.

3. I stayed in the magazine for years and eventually became beauty editor. At 24! And a freelance makeup artist.

(Take note, Marie is also a full-fledged makeup artist. In the beginning, I got weirded out for wanting to pursue the same thing, but what she said truly touched and encouraged me and warmed my heart: "There's lots of room for everybody." To this day I still maintain that same outlook when people approach me for advice.)

4. Five years after that summer, I became beauty editor of Cosmo! I got to travel the world and fully enjoy life as a magazine editor.

So you see, if that whole Team Rejection didn't happen, if I never got so heartbroken as to avoid my friends and flee to a faraway place, I would have never had the opportunity to train with a new climbing partner—whose influence extended beyond scaling walls. If it weren't for Marie, I would have never heard about freelance styling, beauty editing, or fashion sitting.

I have other stories to share in relation to finding reason and light in every setback. It would fill too many pages, but if any of you are going through a tough time, or if any recent development doesn't make sense at all, don't fret. This includes losing a job, breaking up with a boyfriend, or discovering a betrayal: It all leads to something wonderful and amazing that will knock your socks off.

Just wait and see.

Part of this month's Cosmo Series, fourth of 16 posts also published at Cosmo.ph.
(Image Courtesy of http://allmoviephoto.com)

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September 28, 2009

Forward March

"Fashion's not about looking back it's always about looking forward."
—Anna Wintour


I recently watched The September Issue starring the staff of American Vogue. I'm more of a Cosmo girl in terms of dressing fashionably on a relatable, practical scale. But I liked watching Anna Wintour and her team, (particularly Creative Director Grace Coddington) and I liked how the former described the forward-thinking characteristic of fashion.

Sometimes it's too easy to dwell on the past—be it a fashion faux pas, a beauty boo-boo, or even a particular person you've regretted dating. Yet living a charmed and meaningful life involves the ability to pick up the pieces, remember the lessons from every experience, and hopefully move forward armed with an enlightened mind and heart.

Here are three things to take away from the quote above and tips on moving past life's curve balls.

1. When something keeps happening to you, there's something about the situation that you still have to learn.

I realized this from what one of my aunties said back in 2003: the year I notoriously dated guys who kept breaking my heart. During one of my sob sessions (the guy I was dating practically ditched me via text; so much like Carrie and Berger's Post-it breakup) she told me, "Never ever let a guy make you feel that way. Ever!" While looking out the window, a la Sharon Cuneta, complete with raindrops, I realized an important lesson: Guys who were insecure and caused so much stress were NOT worth it. (Eventually I found a steady, laidback, no-hang-ups guy whom I'm marrying next year.)

2. Don't take yourself too seriously.

So what if you wore a baduy outfit? Or showed up with concealer two shades lighter? People around are more than likely to be absorbed in their own mishaps to notice (or remember long enough) yours. I've had my share of many style-sablay moments but have learned to belly up and fake confidence when needed most.

A few years ago I was invited to a beauty event which turned out to be part of the grand opening of Mall of Asia. Cosmetic company executives arrived in business suits, while brand managers and designers wore flowy, flirty dresses. It was a Saturday, so guess what I had on? A white tank and khaki shorts! Thank goodness I had some makeup on, a cute headband, and wore comfy heeled leather sandals. Whew! If I were back in college I would have been mortified (see "Short Shorts" post here). But I reckoned people thought I dressed that way on purpose; which was also true because I'd heard how massive MOA was, so I put on something comfortable I could walk in for hours.

At the end of the day, it all works out. And if it doesn't, tomorrow's another day. So put on a smile—and move along.

3. There's a reason for every setback.

This quote merits a whole blog post altogether because I've witnessed its truth on many, many occasions. But I'll save the details for later. As much as it's ideal to live a "forward-themed" life, sometimes, things don't go as planned or certain disappointments and setbacks emerge. Don't fret. If you look back, notice that when you expected something but didn't get it, you actually ended up with something better. Now that I've started talking about this, I'll dish some examples on my next blog post! So watch this space, Cosmo girls!

Part of this month's Cosmo Series, third of 16 posts also published at Cosmo.ph.

PREVIOUS Post - Short Shorts
NEXT Post - A Reason for Every Setback

September 27, 2009

Offshore

Listening to "Offshore" by Chicane—the really long ambient version—brings me back to those early days at Seventeen...like a delightful, wonderful, and soothing time capsule. I actually met Nick Bracegirdle (head of the group) and asked what he thought of the song. Here's what he said:

"You know that feeling when your vacation is about to end? That's how I felt when I wrote Offshore." And it's true: If you listen to the song, you get this beachy, melancholic feeling. It's truly amazing how music can translate emotions so eloquently and vividly.

Chicane - Off Shore [Ambient Mix]


Found at bee mp3 search engine

Like Katrina, or Maybe Worse

I always try to paint a sparkly picture of the Philippines. Simply because I only hope to educate people in the U.S. who know nothing about Manila and other wonderful places back home. But sadly at this moment, my country is in a state of calamity. Times like these, I am at a loss for eloquent words, so I am pasting an email sent by a friend, writer Lille Bose, imploring everyone to donate to Red Cross. Please help. Thank you in advance.

Dear friends,

Hello. I hope this e-mail finds you well. (And sorry for the multiple e-mails, in case I sent this to more than one address.)

The Philippine capital Metro Manila recently experienced a devastating typhoon. Dozens have died, whole houses are underwater, and the Philippine government is ill-equipped to deal with the disaser. BBC's report is here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8276347.stm, but I don't think anyone will know how just how much damage there is until much later.

Imagine this: Katrina dumped over an inch of rainfall in Louisiana for 3 hours and another 0.5 inches per hour over the next 5 hours on August 29, 2005. Philippine typhoon 'Ondoy' dumped an average of 2.24 inches per hour for over six hours.

By the time the rain stopped, more than 16 inches of rain had fallen over Manila in 12 hours. To put that in context, only 15.39 inches of rain fell throughout the month of September.

Many have lost their homes. Many are still stranded in their roofs in desperate need of food, clothing, and shelter. The typhoon affected people from all walks of life -- rich and poor were stranded and lost homes -- but in the Philippines, the poorest are the most affected.

Please refer to this blog for pictures and video on the flooding so you can see what has happened for yourself.

http://www.quezon.ph/2009/09/26/how-to-help/

I am writing to you now to appeal to your sense of compassion and strongly encourage you to donate to the Philippine Red Cross.

I was able to donate using my U.S. credit card through this link:

http://www.redcross.org.ph/Site/PNRC/Default.aspx?S=48&SS=972

I'm terribly frustrated and sad that I can't do much more to help. The one thing I can do is spread the word about the disaster; international news sites haven't reported much (hours after the event, I still don't see any stories on CNN).

There aren't enough distress signals out there, so if you can forward this email to people you know who want to help, please do so.


Peace and love,
Lille

UPDATE 09/28/09: You can also easily send donations using PayPal through http://www.philippineaid.com. Click on the "ChipIn" button and it will take you to the PayPal login page. Thank you.

September 22, 2009

Sweet Intermission


While I wait for Cosmo.ph to upload my next few blog entries, here's a sweet break from the series: a double-layer carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. Yum!

I made this the other night and I must say it's delicious—a bit too many raisins for my taste, but overall scrr-umptious. I followed Ina Garten's recipe from FoodNetwork.com which you can find here. You can also turn this into carrot squares or cupcakes, and adjust the baking time accordingly.

In Manila, my friend Sharlene Tan—an entrepreneur, former Summit editor, food writer, fashion stylist, jewelry designer (whew!)—made the best carrot cake squares ever! One day at the office, she just handed me a box of those gorgeous, gorgeous, creamy squares of bliss. Talk about sweet :)

Just a few tips if you're planning to try Ina's (yes, in my mind we're on first-name basis) recipe:

1. If you're not that much into raisins and walnuts, add less than what the ingredient list calls for.

2. If you do keep the raisins, you might want to cut back on the sugar, perhaps a fourth to half a cup less. Between the dried fruit and powdered sugar in the cream cheese frosting, it's quite the sugar bomb.

3. Try not to eat the cake right after you bake and frost it. Trust me, it's better the next day after it sets in the refrigerator. And the next (if it's not gone by then!).

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