A Lesson in Etiquette (Part 1)

When it comes to table manners and proper social conduct, I don't consider myself completely ignorant. After all, plenty past luncheons, dinners, and events had required some form of proper decorum from my end, and as a child of the 80s and 90s, I knew early on from watching Pretty Woman that one used utensils from the outside in.

When my uncle—a self-made man—got together with my aunt who was from an old-rich family, my cousins and I (we all lived under one roof) benefited from a lesson or two on refinement. Tita Joan (pronounced 'Jone'), became our second mother, teaching us about manners and the good life by way of Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music. She taught us by example—never ever in a condescending way—and through countless invitations to dine at her parents' home wherein household help served meals from our right and cleared the plates from our left. (Or was it the other way around? Now you see why I needed the book above?)

Personally, apart from Tita Joan's open-minded and introspective outlook in life, I can mostly recall her culinary influences: chicken baked in paprika, how to properly sear meat ("Don't flip it about."), good mustard and marmalade, and so forth. She also taught me to eat Boursin and Havarti cheese; and for many years, I couldn't tell them apart. And because of her, when I had my own apartment and didn't really have a lot of money, I still went to Mandarin Hotel for the walnut multigrain bread.

That said, I always still get curious about other fine things in life, including the study of etiquette. So when I picked up the mini-book, The Little Book of Etiquette by Dorothea Johnson, I may have as well called myself ignorant all these years.

Here are some pointers that called out to me, including so many things I didn't know. Please feel free to add your own tips via the comment boxes, we all could use a new reminder or two. And as I write this, I realize the book covers a lot of ground with enough material to be discussed, so I'll do a mini-series as I blog along.

1. "Do try a little of everything served to you unless you know you are allergic to it."

I first caught wind of this dining 'Do' when I noticed almost a decade ago how my friend, Simon (my mentor Marie's boyfriend) never declined on snacks or food I offered him. This habit of his slowly clued me in that he was doing this out of good manners. After all, he always struck me as someone who had impeccable decorum—always tactful and refined.

2. "Blot your mouth before taking a sip of water."

Now I think I've been doing the opposite way, patting the napkin over my mouth after drinking from the glass. From now on, to be safe, I am going to blot twice: before and after.

3. "Do take medicine discreetly, preferably away from the table. If you must take medication at the table, do not mention it to anyone."

This is a good reminder for my Tempra and Claritin moments.

4. "Do remove alien objects from your mouth with your fingers and place them at the edge of your plate."

Good to know because I'd always assumed one had to use her fork or spoon to do this.

5. "Don't place personal items such as purses, briefcases, and glasses on the table. A small purse belongs on the lap and large purses near your feet."

And I'm adding phones to this list. I'm also guilty of placing my mobile next to my plate, so again, this is a good reminder not to. Also, those nifty jeweled bag hooks from CMG come to mind; must get one of those.

More table etiquette tips tomorrow, plus, what my dad had to say about all of this!

A Lesson in Etiquette (Part 2)

Image courtesy of BarnesandNoble.com